Calling You...

There's something that I can't quite explain
I'm so in love with you
you'll never take that away

And if I said a hundred times before
expect a thousand more
you never take that away

Well expect me to be
calling you to see
if you're ok when I'm not around
asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound
calling you to see
do I try too hard to make you smile
to make a smile

Well I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleepin' are you dreamin' and
if you're dreamin' are you dreamin' of me
I can't believe
you actually picked...me

I thought that the world had lost its sway
(it's so hard sometimes)
then I fell in love with you
(then came you)
and you took that away
(its not so difficult, the world is not so difficult)
you take away the old
show me the new
and I feel like I can fly
when I stand next to you
so what if I'm on this phone
a hundred miles from home
I take the words you gave
and send them back to you

I only want to see
if you're ok when I'm not around
asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound
calling you to see
do I try too hard to make you smile
to make a smile

I will keep calling you to see
if you're sleepin' are you dreamin' and
if you're dreamin' are you dreamin' of me
I can't believe
you actually picked...me

Calling You ~ Blue October
~M

Our Conclusion of Day 3...

So I tried to upload a picture of me and Lulu that Olivia took a minute ago and I couldn't do it on my laptop...for some reason the PC is saying that I am not connected to the Internet and I don't feel like messing with it, I can't see well enough with the light that I don't have over the computer anyway, so it will have to wait till tomorrow. Lu is going through her night crazies and messing with the couch, trying to bite it and then running away. Anthony is folding his clothes and they are both watching the "Tarzan" movie.

We walked over to the school to sign Anthony up for the Boy Scouts thing, but I read the paper wrong, I thought it was tonight at 6:30, but it's not till tomorrow night. That means we can't go, so Anthony will have to ask Nora for the paperwork since we will not be able to go. I have to pick up Olivia from Ballet so it's out of the question. We walked to the park and decided that we would go and see Sandy, and then on the way there we remembered that she had gone out of town, so then we just went to the park and played for a little bit...I tried calling you earlier because I couldn't remember if tomorrow was recycling day or not, I don't see any other bins out, but I thought that since it wasn't last week that it would be this one...I don't know about the trash days, this part is all new to me...ya know that's your job :) I hope that recycling is soon though, you would think that our garage is a personal cardboard and paper factory.

So I hope that you have had a productive day...less the going out and partying tonight, that's probably why you won't answer your phone...:)

I finally cleaned up the mess on the desk and all of your mail is sitting in a Valentines Day bag...that way it looks fun and festive for you when you open it. I can't believe that the end of the week is already here. It seemed to go by very fast...I think you should go out of town more often, my mom offered to come over to the house and help me pick up this weekend, she must feel sorry for me. I should go into work looking all dirty and scruffy, you know since you are the one that bathes me and brushes my hair everyday...since the general consensus is that I am not able to brush my teeth without you being in the house and god forbid pick up and clean it. Lol.

Well hopefully you will call in a little while and say good night to us like you promised...

~M

P.S. Of course I grabbed the mouse for the PC and got mad at the computer because it wouldn't move on the laptop screen...what a dork. Atleast I didn't walk into the wrong bathroom :)

Closure of day 2...

Well with the kids tucked tightly into bed, Jenny gone and trying to figure out what the dog did in another room when I wasn't in there it is pretty quiet around here. I can feel a small bit of depression setting in from missing you. I want to call you to hear your voice, and I know I will tomorrow, but I am so used to talking to you before I go to bed at night that the thought of not doing so this night makes me want to stay up until about 4 in the morning so that I can talk to you then. But, enough with me day dreaming...

It's been a good day all around and the fact that I didn't have to pick up Anthony from school made it better. I was able to get 7 hours in as opposed to the 6 I would have if I left. I probably would have been able to work longer if Anthony didn't need my help with home work. When he was about done my mom and I went to the fabric store and got the stuff for my costume...I hope it turns out the way I think it will. I would hate to be the slutty Alice if it doesn't fit proper...I know you wouldn't mind, but I'm sure that parents would. :)

Nothing overly exciting happened today...pretty boring, after picking Olivia up I found out from her teacher that her character shoes don't fit, so I will either go with her to Capezio this weekend or tell Sandy and she can do it. Sandy invited me to the Ballet Under The Stars and I said ok, until I remembered I promised my dad I would make him a birthday dinner at the house. I figured that it's the least that I could do since he is going to help me with the lawn so I don't have to chop my hand off trying to start the lawn mower. I think he is looking forward to it. There won't be any kids, which sucks because it would be nice for them to see him on his birthday, but we can talk and do things in the yard, have a beer, ya know...Saturday stuff.

I think I will be going out on Friday...I don't know what in the hell I'm going to do, but the thought of coming home to this house is not appealing...but then I have the dog don't I?

As before missing you bunches doesn't really hit until bed time because then I have run out of things to do...I mean last night, I washed every last dish, washed clothes and even filled up the kids water bottle things the night before and put them in the fridge so that they would be extra cool even with the frozen ice thing in there. I guess staying busy keeps the thought of you away for a little while.

Until tomorrow my love...

~M

At The End Of Day One...

So, in your little world away we are here, just chillin' out. We ate dinner and the kids are now in Olivia's bedroom playing with the Pizza Hut, Subway and Dairy Queen plastic toys pretending they are having a pizza, sandwich, ice cream party with their animals. I made the mistake of letting the dog in their room because it looked like she was lonely, what with me on the computer and her hearing all the commotion on the other end of the door. So all I hear now besides them singing Happy Birthday to some animal named "Peter" is Anthony and Olivia yelling and telling Lulu "NO!!! Bad dog!"

I am thinking about taking them out to Baskin Robbins, I think more for me than for them. Maybe it will fill the little empty spot that I have...:( It's ok, every time I thought about you leaving before this I would get extremely upset and said to myself that I would be mad the whole time you were gone and not answer the phone for you abandoning us...but it's the other way around. Things never turn out the way I want them to! Lol...:) I wait for the phone to ring and hope the kids don't bring you up too much so they don't get overly upset either. I fight the want to call you every hour just to hear your voice. It's funny, but I didn't think I would ever miss you this much, but then when I go out of town alone for just a couple of days it's almost the same feeling...oh well what do ya do?

Well, anyways, you wanted me to tell you about my day at work and why it was so horrible...well R decided to leave me a note because I forgot to add up into the equation a tile bill for a client and so the check was short...now let's not forget that I gave him this billing to look over as well and he didn't catch it either so...well of course he told me that I never did give it to him and I was just not going to argue with him, because I would have quit right at that minute. I wrote him a note and told him that I work very hard for him and I don't appreciate the way he talks to me when he writes notes to me. I continued on to tell him that I know he doesn't have any tact when writing but for my sake he should attempt. So dispite the fact that he left me a message that I heard when I got into the office I refused to call him back and when my mom talked to him later and then handed the phone to me I just blamed being busy. So later in the day he would ask me to do things right away and I just put it to the side and when I was done doing other things I eventually got around to it. J called me later and asked me if I had e-mailed a new client the typed bid that I did and I said No...no one gave me a fax number or an e-mail address to send it to and R wanted to look it over first. After I faxed it to R I didn't touch bases again with him and just waited for him to call me and tell me what to do with it. I am so tired of chasing after these losers and making sure they do what they are supposed to. Next time I need something and call them and they don't do it right away then I am not going to chase them any more. If R get's mad about it then I will tell him the same thing. I will let him know when there is something I need to do I write a note and do it within that same day. So on my way to pick up the kids I thought that I would call J since he called about the bid and tell him that I wasn't in the office. He had the nerve to ask me if I was going to go back so that I could send it and I said no. He should think about giving me all the information that I need and then I will do it in the morning. I was just waiting for R to call me and tell me something else. I hope he does call 'cause I won't answer the phone...and the best part about that is that he knows that I'm home with the kids.

So that is how my day went, so I'm sure that you can guess how incredibly pissed off I was when I left, especially with how I've been feeling already...So it was definately a treat to hear your voice this afternoon, it made my pulse slow down considerably.

Did I happen to mention that I Cc'ed you on an e-mail that I sent Olivia's teacher? She told me during dinner that her teacher doesn't let kids go to the bathroom except for at lunch...that seems a little extreme if anyone needs to go, but I made it seem like Olivia may be mistaken about the rules of the classroom, but I still wrote her anyways.

I hope that you have a good first day at work tomorrow and I hope that your room mate doesn't come into your bed in the middle of the night for a little snuggle because he's cold.

xOXooXoXO
~M

For My Love...

So my love has gone...for a whole month, but by the time he returns I will have been gone, I won't see him for about 5 weeks. He went to "Detroit Rock City" so that he could assist in the opening of a MGM property. He has asked me to write about the goings on at home and work and with the kids, I will post as requested, but for those who could care less...I don't blame you or care, but this for him anyway, so if you choose to turn a blind eye, I don't mind...

~M

To Infinity and Beyond...

So we went to Disneyland this past week and we had so much fun! I was so excited for this trip and so was the kids. It was funny to listen to Cisco whine and complain about this trip, I think that the only reason why he even went was because of the kids. As well as me convincing him that we needed to go somewhere just the four of us...and since he has not been to Disneyland with us then this would be the perfect time for us to go. It was nice. We went for three days, but to be honest by the third day I was done. And for anyone that truly knows me knows that this is so uncommon that it's almost unnatural.As always we went to the old park first, it is now the Year of a Million Dreams, so when we got to the park at 8:30am it was still early enough to where there wasn't as many people in the park because of the hour. We went on the Pirates of the Carribean first and then when we were exiting we saw three people that worked at Disneyland and they were handing these lanyards out. I almost told them that we didn't want one, and they were saying that everyone got one so we all took one and once we were outside of the ride we looked at them better and saw that they were fast passes for the popular rides for both parks but they were only good for that day. But it was nice because if you have been to Disneyland and have used fast passes you know that when you get a fast pass you have to wait about and hour before you can use them, but with these you only have to tear it off and hand it to the attendant waiting at the head of the line.Anthy was scared of riding several things and Splash Mountain and the Hollywood Haunted Hotel was the one for both of them, but they both rode them and it was great. Olivia I think came over her fear of Haunted Mansion and the same with Anthony and Splash Mountain and it was funny because Olivia was positive that she was better with each time going on the Haunted Mansion and even was excited about opening her eyes more and more throughout the ride. Anthony was OK on the Splash Mountain as long as Cisco rode behind him so that he could be a "Real Man". I had too much fun on Saturday because we went back to the hotel and I was so sick...just too much sun, treats and rollercoasters. I guess they all don't mix at about 11pm.Anthony and Olivia were also Jr. Chefs and made chocolate chip cookies. They had fun. My mom is my usual companion with the kids to Disneyland but since she wasn't this year I didn't have to tote a whole bunch of crap around or home because Cisco and I were practical with what they bought. Olivia bought a pirate hat with an ear ring as well as a pink bandana on it and Anthony bought an Indiana Jones Hat. I am going to talk him into wearing it when the movie comes out and maybe being Indie for Halloween since every kid in the world is going to be him when the movie comes out next year.We left from Disneyland fairly early on Saturday because it was so crowded that I couldn't stand it any longer. I saw a guy wearing a shirt with "Scar" from the Lion King on it and he was saying "I'm surrounded by idiots" I so wanted to buy that shirt and wear it around. But we left and took the kids back to the hotel around 6 and they went swimming while I took a nap in the room and then we went to Newport Beach and had dinner. It was really nice, I loved the place that we went to, it was a bar and grill type place but the kind that I love and for some reason I can only find these places in California.We'll just say that the kids had loads of fun and were pooped daily and never wanted to wake up in the morning. On Sunday we checked out of the hotel and we drove over to Pasadena and went to breakfast as well as walking around in Old Town for a couple of hours. We kept on trying to leave but then we would pass by somewhere and want to go into it. We ate at this really good little Mexican restaurant, you would have never even thought about going into it because it's such a little hole in the wall and it looks all dingy and dirty on the outside, but it is truly a hidden gem. I'm sure that Cisco will post up the name of it, because I cannont think of it right now. I saw a place that I want to go back to for Halloween decorations, it looks like they have tons of them.We went to the Norton Museum while we were there and I had never been there, so it was nice to walk around there. I personally enjoy the museum that is on Wilshire. I can't think of the name of it, but the La Brea tar pits is there as well, because it is much bigger and there isn't as many people, or atleast it didn't seem like there are when we go there. This place was crowded and it looked like there were tons of students there when we went. I would have never thought that a museum would be that packed on a Sunday, but it was. There is a really nice area with gardens and scuptures, I was loving the lilly pads that I sawI think that they were just so beautiful. Overall we all had a great time, and were glad that we were able to get out of town, as usual it was hard to leave and no one wanted to go back to work but...there is always October when my mom is making me go to Disneyland again with her for her Birthday...

Friendships...

They are something that cannot be entered into lightly. You have to have the desire, will, passion and determination to make it work and not let it die. Friendships I have found, are remarkably close to a romantic relationship in that way. If you abandon it and abuse it, it falls apart like any other relationship. Only when you have been on the end doing the abusing as well as the end that is feeling abandoned can you totally relate to the whole experience.

In ones life you may experience many friendships but only a small handfull will be of true substance and worth your time and energy. It's a completely heartbreaking thing when it seems like a frienship is drifting away like the hot summer winds blowing at your back. Relationships with others evolve, kids come along and eventually the friendships die away. I have only been able to hold on to a couple of friends from before I had my son and those are the ones that I cherish the most. I can admit that I have done my fair share of being a "bad" friend, by not calling people back or breaking dates that we made to do lunch or catch a movie. But when it happens all you can think about is, "I will call back when I have a minute" or "we can always go out another time". But as soon as you remember you have to call back or make another date it's been a month and feelings are hurt. The friends that are true will be through all of that with you and will be able to put on an understanding face in the midst of it. However, they will also let you know how out of line you were with your actions at that given point in time.

It's important to remember the people that are always there for you through it all. All of the late night phone calls when their heart has just been broken (or yours) and all the hugs that make everything always seem better even if it isn't. These are the friends that will continue to be there for you.

People get married and have kids, but when friendships are forgotten about what will you do when you need a break from it all, just to see a movie or gossip about nothings to eachother? It can be harder to have those relationships back if they are forgotten or placed on the back burner.

Love may endure, but friendships do to and like a good wine get better with age.
Cherish those around you and don't forget who got you where you are today. :)

~M

An Anniversary...

So as I had mentioned before C and I came across our 7th Anniversary. I am beginning to wonder why I even call it an Anniversary as we are not married and never will be, but I guess it's because I have a lack of any other words to call it.

But, that is besides the point. The point is the gift he gave me. I enjoy when he gives me books because he knows what I like to read,or so I think and hope he does, and buys me books that I ultimately enjoy.

He bought me Steve Martin's novel "Shopgirl" for this special day. Now to me the book has a special meaning.

I had downloaded this movie onto my iPod a couple of months ago and watched it. It had moments of humor in it as well as a certain sadness that overwhelmed me at times. I think this is due to the overwhelming nature of Ray and Mirabelle's relationship. I think that it is just too familiar and I seem to be living in it to a certain extent. There are some parts of it that don't fit, but as far as I am concerned a great deal of it does.

I enjoyed the book a great deal and it was a bit different than the movie as all good and even bad books usually are, but the movie was very close to the nature of the book. It's hard to say which I enjoyed more.

To me books have always been magical in a way that is undescribeable. I was always getting into so much trouble as a little kid that I was constantly reading and part of the "Weekly Reader" club. I had all the great books like, "Freckle Juice", "Ramona Forever" and all the other classic 3rd grade readings. But whenever I would read it was like a movie already playing in my head, the characters had their look and voices and habits. I talked to some of my friends about this before and most looked at me like I was crazy, those of you who have my experiences with reading probably have had those same looks when you reveal what you see when reading. When I started reading all of the Harry Potter books a couple of years ago I was slightly dissapointed in looking at some of the actors because they were not what my "movie" had produced. I mean that means nothing now because I am such a big fan of the movies, but regardless.

I have started reading Steve Martin's other book that he has written. I have just started it so there isn't much to say about it yet. Except that the man that he is writing about is seriously having problems with OCD,obcessive compulsive disorder, it's slightly humorus the way Steve Martin is writing though.

Hopefully it will be just as enjoyable as reading "Shopgirl" it's definately been a while since I have read something that is hard for me to put down.

~M

More of the Mundane...

So once again another "holiday" has passed and there isn't much to blog about except for the typical day to day operations of being a working mom.

Cisco and I had our 7th Anniversary. We didn't do anything too extravagant. Dinner and a movie was all that we really did, which was fun. It's nice to spend time together, since we don't get to do that all that much any more.

But I will write more later with pictures.

Till then...

~M

Birthday's, A Recital, A Concert and More...

Well I know that it has been a long time since I had been on here and I also know that the last time that I wrote on here I was extremely bored. Well now there is so much going on that I don't hardly have the time to write much. SO...I don't even know where to begin. I guess from the earliest point of this whole thing...Birthday's.




Cisco's was first and that was fun. It was nice for a change not to do something extremely extravagant and extremely expensive for a change. Usually I go all out, but there have been many things from making that happen this year. Mainly getting back on the straight track from all the crap that I used to do...so now bills are being paid off instead of blown away. So we went to dinner at the Mirage and then he surprised me and took me to go and see Love again. He had not seen it yet and he knew how much I enjoyed watching it the first time. I think that if I was given an excuse or tickets in general I would definately go and see it again without hesitation.

So that's what these pictures are...of that night. After we went to the show we went to the Revolution lounge. I think that place is so neat. They have some interactive tables that you can write on. There are all these different kinds of shapes that you can write in also, butterflies, bubbles,rainbows. It's just really neat and they play Beatles music in there. Some of it is sung by the Beatles and then the rest is remade by other artists, but the songs are of the Beatles. We had a really great time, but we didn't stay out too late and I think I was ready to go home because Cisco didn't feel good at all...later to find out he had Strep Throat...which is what I had told him a couple of days before we even went out. But other than that it was a great night.





Olivia's birthday was next so instead of her aunts throwing her a party and then a sleep over they negotiated to have a pool party and a movie at a friends house and then the girls went home...the thing that peeked Olivia's interest was the offer of having a limo take the girls in lieu of a sleep over. It didn't take Olivia long to decide very quickly that was what would be done. It was fun, I personally thought that the water was a little bit on the freezing side for the kids and it was a little windy that day, but other than that it was really fun. Olivia even custom made her cake by picking out all of these different kinds of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream to go in the cake. It had a brownie bottom. It was one of the best Ice Cream cakes I had ever had.


Olivia had her recital last week and I didn't go but Cisco took some pictures and I think I liked this outfit a lot better than some from the past. I think last years dress was ok too, but I like this color better. I try to go to everything that Olivia is in, but I think that I will be done with the whole recital thing for a while. It's not that I don't like going, but it's extremely boring after the fourth year of going. It starts to all look the same and sound the same...just boring. The only reason that you go is to watch your kid but you sit there for two hours watching everyone else and listening to the scream in your ear. I think last year I had enough and was ready to belt the guy behind me with my cell phone, just like Naomi. I would have done some community service for that one. I wouldn't have minded.

I have started school again and that is where I am at right now. We have and hour and a half for lunch and then we have a test. I am taking a computer class that is required and it is pretty boring, but I have to take it so. I would rather come for 6 Saturday's than for a whole semester. That would be horrible. Now the class is every Saturday for six weeks from 8am to 5pm and anyone that lives in Vegas can appreciate the distance that I am traveling...I live in Summerlin and have to drive out to Henderson near Black Mountain to get to this damn school. So Cisco was nice enough to wake me when he got home last night about 20 minutes before I had to go out here. Atleast he woke up because I don't think that I would have been able to. It is definately a trip, but atleast it is on the weekend and I don't have traffic to contend with in the morning.


I think the other thing that made me hate getting up this morning was getting home at 1am last night. It was fun though. My parents treated my brother, his girlfriend and I to a concert. Of course Rick got to pick it out and it was John Mayer.
Which I wasn't completely excited to go and see it, but it was nice. It had been a while since I have been to a concert. It was at Mandalay Bay and I definately wasn't happy that it was there. I felt like I was going to work all over again. After the concert my mom and Rick went home but I stayed with my brother and his "girlfriend" and it was fun.

My brother and I actually had a good time. We don't get to hang out all that much unless it is related to work or there is something going on with the family and we are all there together, which isn't as often as normal families. He kept trying to get me to drink tons of liquor and beer, but I knew better, especially since I had to drive myself home and go to school today. It was hard enough to get up to come to school, I couldn't imagine doing it with a hang over. No thank you. I tried to talk him into going to my hunny's work but he opted out because he had to go to work early this morning. It worked out though. I think that I would be completely kicking myself in the ass this morning if I had stayed out instead of going home.

Well hopefully it won't be close to a month before I post again...but who knows.

~M

Bored...Bored...Bored...

I am so incredibly bored right now...I was playing some computer games and that became boring because I kept on loosing...and now well this is the only thing that I can think of doing. The kids are watching the "Powerpuff Girls" movie and I am not about to subject myself to that so I guess I can sit here and ramble for a few minutes.

Cisco's birthday is coming up soon and I am having a hard time thinking of what to get for him. He isn't helping because he keeps telling me he doesn't want anything. But I'll get him something, I just don't know what. Olivia's birthday is coming up also...they are only a few days apart. It will be nice to have her party and everything...and since her aunts always throw it and I'm never involved I don't know if I should be overjoyed because I can just go and leave or if I should be insulted for not being asked to have a bigger roll in things. Oh, well I have started not to care, but it bothers me every once and a while. It should be fun next weekend though. I'm sure by the end of it I will be complaining that I don't want to go out to dinner for a while and I will want to hide in the house for a couple of days to recover from being around too many people. I don't like people too much, they make me too anxious. I don't know where that problem comes from but it's starting to be too much for me to handle sometimes. Maybe I should go and see and doctor...no just alcohol...that always helps with anxiety...as long as I'm not being paranoid at the same time...it works just fine.

~M

One Tequila, Two Tequila, Now I'm On The Floor...

What A Bad Mix...

But now that I think about it...that poster sums it up pretty good for me!

Uhhh....I don't even think I want to talk about it....

I am still recovering from my evening full of fun lastnight. We had a nice little family dinner...and then after Cisco had mentioned how he wanted a shot of tequila...

Well, I came up with the wonderful idea of playing poker and whoever lost the hand had to do a shot...well then that led to playing another game that also involved tequila shots.

Let's just say that we stopped playing when there was only about 4 large shots left in the bottle. I was confident that I was going to be ok and live through the night, but, no such luck.

I have had a miserable day and it's 10 pm and I still feel like s*#&!!! I just thought I would write this little memo before I went to lay down...again.

~M

This Thing Called Love...

Once again I am left questioning if I have it or deserve it...

~M

End of the Road...

This very well may be the end of the road for this here little blog....

Out of the Bag...

So surprise surprise I wasn't able to keep the secret of the trip...I told Cisco a couple of weeks ago and since then we have been talking about it on and off. I told him that I was planning on taking him to London. I have wanted to go there for quite some time and I think that time is going to be approaching very fast now. I think that it will be next spring which leaves plenty of time for me to plan and for Cisco and I to finalize the decision on taking the kids.

I would love to take them. I think that it would be great to have a real "family" vacation. I am just hoping that it will be the four of us...that is what makes me look forward to it even more. When I have more details about things I will be sure to write about it. I'm not sure about how many people read this but if you have any suggestions on things to do while we are there I am more than happy to listen to them.

:)

~M

Who??? Cisco??? Where...

Yes, I'm wondering where my beau is...if anyone finds him please send him back care of Melissa....Thank you.

He has been working so much he comes home when I am asleep and leaves when I am asleep. Good thing that we have a stable relationship or it would be thought that he was up to no good.

I know that this job is "for the better" but I certainly hope that "we" see rewards soon...If I wanted to be a single mother with two kids I would have signed up for it on my own. I don't like eating dinner at the table alone ( without stimulating adult conversation so that I don't have to hear about who farted in class that day constantly ). Sure it's nice having alone time with the kids but it's hard to enjoy that time when I am needing to deligate tasks that need to get done....Storytime before bed, good luck! That turns into an argument because there is always the other one that wants to have their story read to them instead. It's tough I'll give it that much...I try to stay up and wait for him to come home from work, but it's nearly impossible since I am so exhausted after doing the mom thing all afternoon and night. It's not easy being a cook, personal driver to events, nanny, dishwasher, laundry maid and housekeeper all in one day...nearly everyday. I think that after all of this "training" that he is going through it should settle down a little bit...I hope. Well that's enough whining for now...I know that I will grow used to it, but for right now I'm not...I know when I am though it will seem like things had always been this way :)

He should have normal days off and then that will help a lot. So here is to looking toward the future...and still if you see my precious send him home...IMMEDIATELY!!!

Lonely...

I am feeling lonesome about 95% of the time now...sure I have the kids and things to do around the house. It just isn't the same though when he's at work and we are able to steal small moments when he isn't busy at work. I know that it is something that I will grow used to and adapt to, but I don't want to get used to that...it scares me. I enjoy the sound of all of us in the house. Talking about nothing too special, but just the fact that we are in the house together. I look forward to this Sunday because he will be home with all of us, eventhough I'm sure we will be going to church alone while he sleeps for a better part of the morning or afternoon. I can't stand this new schedule that he is on, but I must be thankful that we both have jobs and eachother. Also, I'm sure he doesn't like the schedule much either.

~M

The Return from a Slight Paradise...

So Anthony, Olivia, my mom, Step-dad and myself took off to California last weekend. It was nice to get out of this desert for the weekend...I was wishing that I had taken my own car by the time we were half way there but it was still nice.

There is a client that we are building a home for that has a townhome in Marina Del Rey that is a stone throw away from the water. This home is just absolutely beautiful. I didn't know what to do with myself when I got there, well I did because it was about 11:00pm, so after taking a short tour of the four story home I was ready to find my bedroom and call it a night.



We went to Santa Monica on one of the days that we were there, for the most part the sun never came out to visit, so it was a hard decision to not go to the beach the whole time that we were there. It was too bad though because we took bathing suits and sand toys for the kids to play with. Anthony and Olivia went with my step-dad to the beach when my mom and I decided to go shopping so atleast they got to go for a little while. Quite honestly the trip was a total bore up until about Saturday only because my parents took us to California with only one plan...SeaWorld on Sunday. Other than that it was driving around with nowhere in particular in mind.

We did go to dinner at a very nice place on Friday night...that turned out to be a fun night. We took turns being very silly for most of the night after that...
my mom thought that there was something wrong with us but I think that the Champagne kicked in for me and the sugar rush from the sodas worked their magic on the kids...


We went for a late night stroll on the beach and Anthony and I decided to get wet...really wet Anthony had to remove his clothes before we went walking back to the house because he was so wet, that water wasn't very warm either. I was wishing I had another change of clothes when I was done because of how wet I was. I was a little scared that there was going to be something wrapping around my foot or ankle since I was waist deep in the ocean water. It was so beautiful that night though...there was no wind and you could see straight down the beach and even see the lights of the ferris wheel on the Santa Monica Pier. I loved it and was wishing that we were spending another night there because I would have loved to go to the ocean again at 9:00 in the evening. We took turns riding up and down in the elevator that is in the home that we stayed in and ate our desserts that we got from the Farmers Market near the La Brea Tar Pits.
We went to the Rose Gardens near USC and to the Natural History Museum also...

that was the neatest museum that I had been to, atleast the neatest kid friendly one!We left early in the morning to go to SeaWorld and that was a miserable day only because of the weather...cold and slightly rainy. It was ok later in the day because the sun would play peek a boo every once and a while, but we rode the two water rides that they have and then after that we had to buy whole new outfits because we were just soaked. The kids had to buy sandals because their shoes were just filled to the brim with water. SeaWorld was nice to go to, I wish I would have been able to see everything because I hadn't been there since I was five. We stayed the night in San Diego and then the next morning after breakfast it was back home we went. Just something to remind those with kids...don't leave them unsupervised with a camera in the back seat of the car...this is what happens...46 pictures of this!

When I get around to posting these to flicker I will share all of them with you...my friends...till then...
~M

Clue #4

This city is the capital of a great empire...

~M

A Moment of Solitude...

Even in this busy day that I have going on...

All I can think of is the moment of solitude that I will have when I am walking along the beach in California this weekend...

Without kids by my side...

Without my love by my side but in my heart...

Wishing all the while that he was with me in that moment...

To watch the sunrise...

To watch the sunset...

Together in that beautiful moment...

I will be thinking of him...

And wishing he was with me...

~M