Another Morning...Another Day...

Oh bother...another morning waking up alone in a cold room. No one to keep my little feet warm, or cover me with the blankets because I have kicked them all off once again. So since there is no one to do that I wake up every few hours because I'm cold and have to fight with the dog to get off the blankets that I'm trying to pull up to my chinny chin chin to stay warm.

Feeling that I have abandoned some of my very good friends on My Space I've written a couple of them, it's just hard to try and write and say hi to everyone...maybe I'll just post a bulletin and that will take care of it, then people can read it as they wish.

Let's see what do I have to do today...um, go to JoAnne's and return some stuff. Go to Target and do the same thing. Rick is going to come over and bring the kids bikes home, so that is a good thing, they have been asking me for their bikes, but there is no way in hell I am able to bring them home in my car. He is also going to be picking up the tile cutter and I have some stuff in the car from the garage that I am taking to Goodwill because I am tired of looking at it, however, I am not telling you what it is, because I know you will tell me not to do it and that you will take care of it...and after a year and a half of hearing that about this stuff...I know it's not going to happen any time soon. I have figured out a way to place the bins in the garage so that everything is nice and happy...yay. I have to remember to keep the garage closed though so that scary guy doesn't come over and think that we're the best of friends. Maybe when I am at JoAnne's I will go and eat at Sweet Tomatoes. Dad is coming over and he's going to help me do the lawn, so I have a busy day ahead of me I guess. Time to get started...

So the house is all dressed up. I have to take some pictures and then I will post them later.

~M

It's Nearly Unbearable...

I miss you...it's nearly unbearable. I nearly started to cry last night due to the overwhelming feeling of you not being near, and sometimes talking to you on the phone makes that worse. Sometimes it feels worse when I'm stressed out or tired, but when that all passes missing you is still there. I love you so much, and last night I started to think if this is what it would be like if you were not in my life. Would one passing moment of anticipating your return just move on to another and another, until I couldn't count anymore? I am so happy that I can talk to you, but then I prayed that God returned you safe to me so that I can have you in my arms and not just in my thoughts. Have I told you that I love you? Well I do, I know that you are doing this trip for the four of us, and that is good, however, I don't know how many more of these trips I can bear. When you start getting used to these trips do you lose love in a little way, to where you don't miss that person as much anymore and just think of it as a matter of duty to the family? I hope that isn't the case, but I guess you just hear of these couples where the other one is gone all of the time for work. Yeah, they have a nice and stable career, a nice home, fancy clothes, but is the same love still there from the stay at home mom taking the kids to their 38 weekly activities to keep the real lonliness away? I know that won't become us, but it was just a thought I had last night while laying in bed alone. I miss you and I love you and I can't wait for you to come home...

and yes...

14 more days.

~M

On This Fine Day...

Well this is just as fine a day as any. It's sunny, breezy, and cool. I would have to check, but it has to be in the mid 80's or something. It's really nice, no kids, but there is a dog with an attitude problem as well as some lizards. But I thought I would put up the picture of Lulu sticking her tounge out for the world to see.

There really hasn't been much going around here. I am still deciding if I am going to go to a dinner at the Stirling Club tonight with the Company. I guess I could hang out with my mom since she is going. I know what I am going to wear if I do go so atleast that isn't a problem. I think I might take a nap in a minute though, just because I can, and that is if the dog will let me. I swear it's like having a 2 year old all over again. Whatever she can fit into her mouth she will and try to eat it. She has tried to eat the lizards but was not successful.

Well if I do go tonight I will post some pictures for all to see. Which reminds me I have to go and get some more face powder, I'm all out.

Well my love, I am sure that I will talk to you later and since you are in a room that has all of the pleasures of home now (minus me and the kids) I'm sure you will be reading this later today. But, I thought I would throw in a picture of me and Lulu in bed...I'm sure that you are highly jealous of this, but just remember she can't take your place...she's too furry...lol. Also, remember how I told you that she went and had her very first beauty salon experience? Well, doesn't she look so cute? I thought that she did anyway, my mom had to brush out the top of her head, I guess I should have take the picture with the bow in her head for you to see. It was really cute, it was orange and yellow and had two little pearls in it, it was a Halloween bow. I think next time I will only have them put on the pink bandana, since the rubberbands got caught in her hair. I love you and misses your kisses...

~M

Empty Spots...

Oh, my...how I wish I was in bed right now with someone other than a pillow laying next to me. I do have to admit that it is nice to spread out across the whole bed when I get into it, but when I wake up in the morning I am in my usual "spot". It's funny how that gets pounded into your head and even when the other person isn't there you still have a way of shifting into what you're used to. The same goes with the kitchen table. C has the best spot if we want to watch something while we are eating and the kids know it too, so every once and a while they will fight over his spot so that they can see the cartoons in the morning. However, at night when it is time for us to sit down, I sit in my usual spot staring at Anthony and Olivia. It feels so empty with no one next to me, but whats funny is that C only eats dinner with us maybe 2 times a week as it is, maybe I'm just missing those 2 nights a week.

Regardless my brain is not used to all the extra space that usually gets filled up around 1 in the morning Sunday thru Thursday and 6am Friday and Saturday. Instead it stays empty with the exception of a little pupper that has grown accustomed to his "spot" she's not the same (a little hairy and has a wet nose a lot of the time) but the warmth and excitement to see me awake in the mornings is nice.

~M

Here I Go Again...

So I will begin this post as I usually do for right now...I misses my hunny...:( Well I wrote down on my desk calendar how many more days till he comes home and the count is at 23 more days...Bucky Katt doesn't like that one bit, but I'm sure it will be nice when he comes home...oh the appreciation that we will have for eachother...I think it might be more now than ever, not that it wasn't pretty high up there when we are together, but I think things are put into perspective when you are away from the one that you love. So there, now you know...I told ya I loved ya! :) lol

Well just in case there isn't anyone out there that doesn't know about the fires in San Bernadino (I think I spelled that right) I thought I would let you in on a little bit of what the Summerlin side of Las Vegas looked like Saturday morning when we all woke from our slumber...
I thought that was bad, but it looked really strange when you would see all the black smoke and then see the beautiful blue sky. What was a real shame is that other than the smoke it was a beautiful day.It has certainly cooled down here at night. I have opened up all of the windows upstairs and it's not hot at all in here. I do have to remember to turn the air up, but I don't think it will make a difference if I don't, it's so cold downstairs it registered at about 73 degrees when I looked last. Olivia swore that she didn't need her window open, but I told her that if she didn't want to be like a Thanksgiving Day turkey right of the oven in the middle of the night that she should.

Well quite personally I can't think of anything more to talk about so I think I will call it a night...I will leave you with this little love token that the kids and I threw together...

~M

The Things We Said Today...

So I was hoping that this day wouldn't be or atleast "feel" like it has been taking forever...but it has, begining with the dog waking me up at 7am. Atleast I called you though to wake you up and let you sit there wondering why you were awake at that ungodly hour.

Like I said this morning it was pretty cold outside...I was ready to go back in by the time I had just set foot outside the door. The kids are going to have to wear small sweaters on their way to school this coming week I think. Instead of going to Winchells for breakfast this morning Anthony and I went out to Einsteins Bagels and ate out on the patio, we both looked at the newspaper, me at the coupons and sales and Anthony at the Comics. We went to go and feed BJ's dogs and then went to Target to stock up on some more Halloween stuff for the party...speaking of which, I am officially done with the invitations and I put together the bags for the Auction. I think that the first Friday in October is when I will send the kids to school with their invitations. Remember how I was thinking about mailing them so that no one's feelings got hurt or anything, well I decided against that. I'm sure there are plenty of kids that have parties and hand out invitations and Anthony and Olivia aren't invited and they don't come home crying about it. And if they do get upset I guess this is a good time to learn about disappointment and how life isn't fair...I suppose anyway. I just don't want to spend all that money on stamps, I've spent enough as it is to make this a killer party. We will have to go to Smart and Final, Rick told me that they have the black tarp stuff to put up for the haunted house. I also need to go and buy a couple of black lights.

So anyways, the lizards are outside still and I think that they will stay out there for a while...when I felt how cold it was this morning I was thinking about bringing them back inside, but then I decided against it. The little bastards can stay out there a little bit longer, it's nice outside. I have to type some stuff up for work tonight, but I am wondering if I should do it now, since there is light up here and all. I need to buy a light for this corner, because when I work at night I can't see a damn thing.

I hope that you are having fun at the Football game and not drinking too much like you did lastnight. I hate when you drink too much, because I don't like talking to you on the phone then, I know that you won't remember anything that I say or we say and I can't tell if whatever does come out of your mouth is sincere or not....this doesn't only apply to when you are out of town, this counts for when you are here also.

It's back to the grind again tomorrow, work, school and way too many activities to try and keep up with. I am about at my wits end with it all. Here is the schedule this week and every week there after...

Monday ~ 5:00 - 6:00 ~ Oliva's Church Choir
Tuesday ~ 5:00 - 6:30 ~ Oliva's Ballet (the one good thing about this is that Sandy takes her.
Wednesday ~ 6:30 - 7:30 ~ Anthony's Cub Scouts
Thursday ~ 5:00 - 6:30 ~ Olivia's Ballet (Sandy again)
Friday ~ ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!! I swear, eventhough I don't have to take Olivia it's still draining, probably because it's still such a full schedule for everyone...and don't forget that on Tuesday and Thursday mornings I have to drop Olivia off at school for Choir at 8:00am. I can't wait till you get back so you can do that one. I do everything else already with them. I always thought that when I had kids homework and cooking dinner was going to be the hard part of everything, I didn't even think about the whole extracurricular activities thing. I am so ready for them to drive now, so they can take themselves to all this stuff. There is my complaining about stuff for the week while you aren't here. I'm sure that there will be something else next week.

You don't know how happy I am that you are coming back on the 10th though. I hope that you were telling the truth with that one. I know that I am leaving at 6am the next morning for 4 days but atleast I can see you for one night. Now that I think about it...I don't know if it is a good idea that you are coming back a day before I leave...I don't know if I will want to go. I bet that you are going to tell me something like, "Well I have to work on the 11th anyways, so you wouldn't see me anyways...you know how I live, eat and breathe my job..huh huh huh" So I guess it doesn't make much of a difference. Atleast you will be able to take Anthony and Olivia to school the next morning.

Well I guess I will write more to you later so that I don't run out of things for you.

Love you hunny bunch...

~M

Just Like Starting Over...

Our life together is so precious together
We have grown, we have grown
Although our love is still special
Let's take a chance and fly away somewhere alone

It's been too long since we took the time
No-one's to blame, I know time flies so quickly
But when I see you darling
It's like we both are falling in love again
It'll be just like starting over, starting over

Everyday we used to make it love
Why can't we be making love nice and easy
It's time to spread our wings and fly
Don't let another day go by my love
It'll be just like starting over, starting over

Why don't we take off alone
Take a trip somewhere far, far away
We'll be together all alone again
Like we used to in the early days
Well, well, well darling

It's been too long since we took the time
No-one's to blame, I know time flies so quickly
But when I see you darling
It's like we both are falling in love again
It'll be just like starting over, starting over

Our life together is so precious together
We have grown, we have grown
Although our love is still special
Let's take a chance and fly away somewhere

Starting over

(Just Like) Starting Over ~ John Lennon

I was listening to this in the car today and was thinking how true it is...
I miss you terribly and love you completely...forever.

~M

Calling You...

There's something that I can't quite explain
I'm so in love with you
you'll never take that away

And if I said a hundred times before
expect a thousand more
you never take that away

Well expect me to be
calling you to see
if you're ok when I'm not around
asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound
calling you to see
do I try too hard to make you smile
to make a smile

Well I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleepin' are you dreamin' and
if you're dreamin' are you dreamin' of me
I can't believe
you actually picked...me

I thought that the world had lost its sway
(it's so hard sometimes)
then I fell in love with you
(then came you)
and you took that away
(its not so difficult, the world is not so difficult)
you take away the old
show me the new
and I feel like I can fly
when I stand next to you
so what if I'm on this phone
a hundred miles from home
I take the words you gave
and send them back to you

I only want to see
if you're ok when I'm not around
asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound
calling you to see
do I try too hard to make you smile
to make a smile

I will keep calling you to see
if you're sleepin' are you dreamin' and
if you're dreamin' are you dreamin' of me
I can't believe
you actually picked...me

Calling You ~ Blue October
~M

Our Conclusion of Day 3...

So I tried to upload a picture of me and Lulu that Olivia took a minute ago and I couldn't do it on my laptop...for some reason the PC is saying that I am not connected to the Internet and I don't feel like messing with it, I can't see well enough with the light that I don't have over the computer anyway, so it will have to wait till tomorrow. Lu is going through her night crazies and messing with the couch, trying to bite it and then running away. Anthony is folding his clothes and they are both watching the "Tarzan" movie.

We walked over to the school to sign Anthony up for the Boy Scouts thing, but I read the paper wrong, I thought it was tonight at 6:30, but it's not till tomorrow night. That means we can't go, so Anthony will have to ask Nora for the paperwork since we will not be able to go. I have to pick up Olivia from Ballet so it's out of the question. We walked to the park and decided that we would go and see Sandy, and then on the way there we remembered that she had gone out of town, so then we just went to the park and played for a little bit...I tried calling you earlier because I couldn't remember if tomorrow was recycling day or not, I don't see any other bins out, but I thought that since it wasn't last week that it would be this one...I don't know about the trash days, this part is all new to me...ya know that's your job :) I hope that recycling is soon though, you would think that our garage is a personal cardboard and paper factory.

So I hope that you have had a productive day...less the going out and partying tonight, that's probably why you won't answer your phone...:)

I finally cleaned up the mess on the desk and all of your mail is sitting in a Valentines Day bag...that way it looks fun and festive for you when you open it. I can't believe that the end of the week is already here. It seemed to go by very fast...I think you should go out of town more often, my mom offered to come over to the house and help me pick up this weekend, she must feel sorry for me. I should go into work looking all dirty and scruffy, you know since you are the one that bathes me and brushes my hair everyday...since the general consensus is that I am not able to brush my teeth without you being in the house and god forbid pick up and clean it. Lol.

Well hopefully you will call in a little while and say good night to us like you promised...

~M

P.S. Of course I grabbed the mouse for the PC and got mad at the computer because it wouldn't move on the laptop screen...what a dork. Atleast I didn't walk into the wrong bathroom :)

Closure of day 2...

Well with the kids tucked tightly into bed, Jenny gone and trying to figure out what the dog did in another room when I wasn't in there it is pretty quiet around here. I can feel a small bit of depression setting in from missing you. I want to call you to hear your voice, and I know I will tomorrow, but I am so used to talking to you before I go to bed at night that the thought of not doing so this night makes me want to stay up until about 4 in the morning so that I can talk to you then. But, enough with me day dreaming...

It's been a good day all around and the fact that I didn't have to pick up Anthony from school made it better. I was able to get 7 hours in as opposed to the 6 I would have if I left. I probably would have been able to work longer if Anthony didn't need my help with home work. When he was about done my mom and I went to the fabric store and got the stuff for my costume...I hope it turns out the way I think it will. I would hate to be the slutty Alice if it doesn't fit proper...I know you wouldn't mind, but I'm sure that parents would. :)

Nothing overly exciting happened today...pretty boring, after picking Olivia up I found out from her teacher that her character shoes don't fit, so I will either go with her to Capezio this weekend or tell Sandy and she can do it. Sandy invited me to the Ballet Under The Stars and I said ok, until I remembered I promised my dad I would make him a birthday dinner at the house. I figured that it's the least that I could do since he is going to help me with the lawn so I don't have to chop my hand off trying to start the lawn mower. I think he is looking forward to it. There won't be any kids, which sucks because it would be nice for them to see him on his birthday, but we can talk and do things in the yard, have a beer, ya know...Saturday stuff.

I think I will be going out on Friday...I don't know what in the hell I'm going to do, but the thought of coming home to this house is not appealing...but then I have the dog don't I?

As before missing you bunches doesn't really hit until bed time because then I have run out of things to do...I mean last night, I washed every last dish, washed clothes and even filled up the kids water bottle things the night before and put them in the fridge so that they would be extra cool even with the frozen ice thing in there. I guess staying busy keeps the thought of you away for a little while.

Until tomorrow my love...

~M

At The End Of Day One...

So, in your little world away we are here, just chillin' out. We ate dinner and the kids are now in Olivia's bedroom playing with the Pizza Hut, Subway and Dairy Queen plastic toys pretending they are having a pizza, sandwich, ice cream party with their animals. I made the mistake of letting the dog in their room because it looked like she was lonely, what with me on the computer and her hearing all the commotion on the other end of the door. So all I hear now besides them singing Happy Birthday to some animal named "Peter" is Anthony and Olivia yelling and telling Lulu "NO!!! Bad dog!"

I am thinking about taking them out to Baskin Robbins, I think more for me than for them. Maybe it will fill the little empty spot that I have...:( It's ok, every time I thought about you leaving before this I would get extremely upset and said to myself that I would be mad the whole time you were gone and not answer the phone for you abandoning us...but it's the other way around. Things never turn out the way I want them to! Lol...:) I wait for the phone to ring and hope the kids don't bring you up too much so they don't get overly upset either. I fight the want to call you every hour just to hear your voice. It's funny, but I didn't think I would ever miss you this much, but then when I go out of town alone for just a couple of days it's almost the same feeling...oh well what do ya do?

Well, anyways, you wanted me to tell you about my day at work and why it was so horrible...well R decided to leave me a note because I forgot to add up into the equation a tile bill for a client and so the check was short...now let's not forget that I gave him this billing to look over as well and he didn't catch it either so...well of course he told me that I never did give it to him and I was just not going to argue with him, because I would have quit right at that minute. I wrote him a note and told him that I work very hard for him and I don't appreciate the way he talks to me when he writes notes to me. I continued on to tell him that I know he doesn't have any tact when writing but for my sake he should attempt. So dispite the fact that he left me a message that I heard when I got into the office I refused to call him back and when my mom talked to him later and then handed the phone to me I just blamed being busy. So later in the day he would ask me to do things right away and I just put it to the side and when I was done doing other things I eventually got around to it. J called me later and asked me if I had e-mailed a new client the typed bid that I did and I said No...no one gave me a fax number or an e-mail address to send it to and R wanted to look it over first. After I faxed it to R I didn't touch bases again with him and just waited for him to call me and tell me what to do with it. I am so tired of chasing after these losers and making sure they do what they are supposed to. Next time I need something and call them and they don't do it right away then I am not going to chase them any more. If R get's mad about it then I will tell him the same thing. I will let him know when there is something I need to do I write a note and do it within that same day. So on my way to pick up the kids I thought that I would call J since he called about the bid and tell him that I wasn't in the office. He had the nerve to ask me if I was going to go back so that I could send it and I said no. He should think about giving me all the information that I need and then I will do it in the morning. I was just waiting for R to call me and tell me something else. I hope he does call 'cause I won't answer the phone...and the best part about that is that he knows that I'm home with the kids.

So that is how my day went, so I'm sure that you can guess how incredibly pissed off I was when I left, especially with how I've been feeling already...So it was definately a treat to hear your voice this afternoon, it made my pulse slow down considerably.

Did I happen to mention that I Cc'ed you on an e-mail that I sent Olivia's teacher? She told me during dinner that her teacher doesn't let kids go to the bathroom except for at lunch...that seems a little extreme if anyone needs to go, but I made it seem like Olivia may be mistaken about the rules of the classroom, but I still wrote her anyways.

I hope that you have a good first day at work tomorrow and I hope that your room mate doesn't come into your bed in the middle of the night for a little snuggle because he's cold.

xOXooXoXO
~M

For My Love...

So my love has gone...for a whole month, but by the time he returns I will have been gone, I won't see him for about 5 weeks. He went to "Detroit Rock City" so that he could assist in the opening of a MGM property. He has asked me to write about the goings on at home and work and with the kids, I will post as requested, but for those who could care less...I don't blame you or care, but this for him anyway, so if you choose to turn a blind eye, I don't mind...

~M