October 13, 2010

They have arrived. They arrived early, which made me very uneasy since they were only 28 weeks and 6 days old. When I went into the hospital 4 days earlier it was because my water broke. So when I checked into the hospital it was the ultimate goal to keep those babies inside for another couple of weeks, at least 4. The thought of being on bed rest at the hospital and only being allowed to get up and use the restroom was depressing. Family was working during the day, Cisco was at work at hight and if I was lucky he would spend lots of time during his days off, but we had Anthony and Olivia at the house and he needed to spend time with them. I thought I was doing really good even with my water being broke, no real problems, babies heartbeats were really good when I was being monitored. Earlier in the day they did an ultrasound and they noticed that there was nearly no water around Catherine and Charlie, I had been leaking most of the day and they thought that Charlie broke her water as well. Now, when we were doing the monitoring on Wednesday night it looked a little grim. The girls heartbeats were higher than usual and it was hard to monitor Charlie and Catherine on the machine, they kept moving and finally the nurses settled with leaving a monitor on Cecilia and tried hard to keep the monitors on Charlie and Catherine. The nurses left out of the room to call the doctor and I was told that I had to get some blood drawn to see if an infection was starting. They took blood and we waited for the results. The doctor called me and told me that if there were signs of infection we would be going into surgery pretty fast. So after an hour, I was told that I was showing signs of infection so we were going to be delivering the babies.

We rolled into the prep area and got ready, FAST. When we were in the delivery room they were quick, I was pretty drugged on Morphine but I remember that it didn't seem to take long for the doctor to get those girls out. My first was Catherine born at 10:57pm, and then I had Cecilia at 10:58pm, then there was my Charlie at 11:00pm. I teased my mom the next day and told her that I couldn't think of what to get her for her birthday so I thought that three granddaughers would work as a perfect present.

Cisco went out of the room with the NICU doctor when the doctor took the girls. He was able to see them before me and spend at least a little bit of time with them. I'm sure that they were so busy doing things for them.

Waking up the next day I was nothing but tired and sore and sick of people coming into my room to take vitals, temperature, and blood from me. I just wanted to sleep and get off those drugs so I could go and see my girls. I was finally able to do so and when I did I could not believe how tiny they were. I've never seen such a thing. My heart just broke thinking how I was unable to hold my babies and not knowing when I would be able to do so. The doctors are the best and they were being very realistic with me as in what to expect.

As the days went on Catherine was doing better as each day went by. It seemed that with each passing day there was good news and moving forward with her getting better and getting off machines, now she is on breast milk and seems to be doing well with it. She has no more lights on her and she is on a very minimal amount of oxygen which is great.

Cecilia has PAD (I just found out lastnight that she had it as well) but since her oxygen has been going down, I am assuming that her PAD is closing which is great. She is no longer on lights either, and today when we went to go and see her she was awake after the nurse changed her diaper, she looked at us, she sneezed about 5 times in a row (just like her mama) and stayed awake for the entire visit. It just about killed me to leave her since she was awake.

When we got there Charlie was being prepped to get her PICC line so that could remove the arterial line out of her belly button, so we couldn't visit with her at that time. But when we went yesterday she was doing better.

I am just so thankful for all the family, friends and church family that we have because we have been having nothing but prayers and good wishes for our girls. I truly believe that our faith and love for eachother and our family has kept us strong and has gotten us through this very difficult time. Everything is day by day. And since there will be great days and days with set backs we have to be prepared for it all. Nothing but a rollercoaster ride, but I have faith and my girls seem to be very strong, and they are little fighters so I have nothing but high hopes for them to come home sooner than expected.

~M

Babies...Babies...Babies...

Well I know that I should probably be writing about the wedding...and I will in due time, I want to do it when I have some pictures to share as well. But since I don't have any yet I have decided to write about the babies.

We have started on the nursery finally. It took long enough. I think the only thing that was holding us back was the wedding. One thing at a time. We started tearing apart the wall and soon we will be continuing on to paint and put in all of their stuff into the room, which will be a huge relief since as of right now it is all in our living room. I can't wait to have that room back to normal. We look like hoarders right now.

The babies are due to be delivered on November 14 or 15 if all goes to plan. Which I am certainly hoping happens. We have so much more to do before they come to our little world. I am so nervous about them coming, not just because there will be three babies to take care of, but the delivery and recovery itself is terrifying me. I had a ceserean with Anthony so I know what to expect in that sense, but it was a horrible experience and I do not look forward to reliving it again. We picked out the names for the girls, but only family really know the names and I think I am going to keep it that way for a while. When they come I think I will post a picture with their names attached. I have so many ideas for the nursery but just not enough $$$ to bring them to life. I'm sure sooner or later we will be able to make it happen, but it's just been such a busy year, with the wedding and no rest in between now to dig right into the girls. It's exhausting that is for sure!

Well more to come soon, since I will be on my maternity leave soon and I will be able to send updates more often.

~M

Fly Me To The Moon...

I recently downloaded this song onto my iPhone since I had been forgetting to do it for the longest time. I love it...I always thought that it was a great song, but it just holds a completely different meaning now.

On the night that Cisco proposed to me they played this song at the Bellagio along with the fountain show while we were having dinner on the terrace at Olives. Ever since then when I hear the song I think of the water shooting up and the song going along with it all. I can still picture in my head the which way the fountains turned at certain points of the song and when the water would shoot up high into the sky. Depending on the song that plays with the water it brings tears to my eyes for some reason and this song did that to me...it always does now. It's definately one that I plan on dancing with my husband to at our wedding.

~M

Oh Baby...

Well as if planning a wedding that will be taking place in a little over 4 months wasn't hectic enough...throw being pregnant into the mix. Yep, found out a couple weeks ago that we will be expecting a little Cisco Jr. or Melissa Jr. So that means wedding in September and baby in either late December or early January. Wow...now that's a lot of planning, I'm tired just thinking about doing it all.

I'm glad though, I'm ready to do it again. I'm ready to do it again and not be alone in the whole process either so I am excited. It's strange, or it will be, to have someone want to and that does go to doctor appointments. Holds onto my belly when the baby starts to move and talks to him/her. Someone to love me and take care of me through all the good, bad and really ugly times that my rear it's head.

It's another adventure that we are partaking on and I am so excited. Everything is happening at once, it seems overwhelming, but it's ok, there is plenty of support.

It's a little scary to think that the last time I did this was 11 years ago. I went to Babies R Us recently and was shocked at all the crap they have now. They even have these little things to put in the toilet so when you are potty training your boy he has something to aim at, it's little styrofoam things that are good for the environment or something. Whatever happened to throwing some Cherrios in the toilet and letting them go at it? Why do you have to buy something to do it? They have pee guards too...now why? They are cute, but totally impractical. Uh, cover the thing up with a wipe or diaper anyone? I don't know, I'm sure these are some of the gifts that I may be recieving, and maybe it's just seeming like a little much, but just like the last time everything will fall into place, new routines will be set and we will all move on with our new little family.

~M

5 Months...

In 5 months from now I will be married...
In 5 months from now we will officially be a family...
In 5 months from now a new chapter begins...

It's strange and scary to think how 5 months went by so quickly. It was actually only 5 months ago that Cisco asked me to be his wife over a beautiful dinner. Since that point every little detail has been thought of and accounted for. Now it's just a matter of putting the finishing touches on everything, and paying all of our vendors down. It's so exciting when we start to do a new project for the wedding. Going to get Cisco's tux fitted and picked out seemed more difficult than picking out my own dress. There were so many choices and decisions to be made, but it was exciting. Same with picking out the flowers, the cake and all the other little things. I have decided on what kind of favors to do, now the hard part is chosing where to get them without paying out of my nose.

Olivia's aunts are my bridesmaids and I am so excited that they agreed. I love them like if they were my own sisters and I am so happy that they agreed to be a special part of our day. Debbie in particular has been quite helpful with all the little questions that I have and all the near meltdowns that I nearly have. She is able to put out that fire and make me see things in a different light and then things aren't so bad. Debbie, Diane and Olivia are the ones throwing me a bridal shower and I am so excited. I feel so blessed to have the extended family that I do, they show so much love and support and always have. I am very lucky and I know that.

I am getting a little nervous as the time nears for me to send out my invitations and to get the replies for the attending and not attending notes. Cisco is telling me horror stories of people he works with who have guests who invite others and don't mention it or just put down that they will be bringing 4 additional people when only 2 were invited. It scares the living s*** out of me because, I don't want to have to deal with it. I'm hoping that the group of people that we have invited to our wedding are kind and polite enough to not do such things...but I guess it would be impossible to think that things will go flawlessly. I think that I would be in complete shock if it did actually.

Well hopefully as time get's closer the stress will start to lessen...I say that because I've been having nightmares about it all and I think I'm just stressing about things a little. I think I may be thinking about some things a little more than I should or that I think that I am.

In 5 months I will be getting married...
In 5 months I will be Melissa Salinas...

~M

Just a Waiting Game...

So there is a little over 6 months until my big wedding blow out. I have been thinking long and hard about many aspects of this wedding and hoping that all of my effort and thought will pay off and be appreciated by my family and friends. I think that it will, but I guess that I am just thinking about it right now. Now is the time where we are just trying to get together money and pay things off slowly, and I'm telling you it feels like it is going slowly. Cisco and I have made a sheet that lists all of the expenses and the deposit amounts and the amounts that we have left to do. I have highlighted the ones that are completely paid off and left the others alone, I think this week or within the next couple weeks would be to highlight some more of those columns. I am hoping that we fall into some money soon...or that Cisco does if he does his taxes so that we can pay down a few more things.

I'm still torn on finding favors, but not completely. My mom and I went looking the other day and found some really cute ideas, so at least now I am not completely left feeling lost. Also, Cisco and I have decided on not getting a cake topper for our cake since after looking at the cake again we feel that it would take away from the beauty of the cake itself. I think this will be a good idea, I don't know where I would put another figurine anyway. I hope I don't regret the decision later though.

I think other than that, I am just waiting to see when Cisco will get it together and figure out the tuxes for him and the boys, as well as the limo and the room. I'm getting anxious, but I don't want to pester him quite yet about it.

~M

Now What...

So there are some things that have been paid for completely, dress/invitations/etc, and then most things have a deposit down on them at least with the exception of the cake, makeup artist and I don't know if we will need one for the DJ or not, but we haven't looked at any rooms yet for the wedding party or the wedding night and we haven't looked in detail at the tuxes. I am waiting for the information from the florist and hopefully that will come in within the next couple of days.

Now what? I guess I just have to wait for the money to start rolling in, and making a plan every payday to see who gets a chunk of money, I'm thinking that I start paying off the small stuff first. Like the photographer, the cake, the videographer, etc. Then I can hit the bigger thing and the one that is the most stressing...the reception venue. I'm worried, but at the same time I know that everything will fall into place like it is supposed to do. I think that it just seems like there is so much that still needs to get done and unless I fall into a pile of cash soon, I am just going to have to take it one day at a time. I have everything picked out and partly paid for so I guess the hard part is done :)

7 Months...15 Days and Counting...

It's getting closer. I still have to go and talk to a florist and actually hammer down some kind of budget I think. I started doing a seating chart for immediate family, but kind of figured since I was doing that I might as well do one for everyone else. I'm not sure how that is going to work out, but I'm I can figure it out. Payday is coming up so that means, putting money away and seeing if there are any other deposits that I will have to do ASAP so that I don't lose a vendor. It's getting kind of stressing and the other thing is I'm not sure what to do first. We haven't talked too much about the wedding, I think that Cisco is leaving a big part of this up to me, which is fine, but I need some imput from him about what the next step is and what we should focus on next. I know it will all work out, but it's just stressing thinking about it right now.

I am really excited though...I can't wait to walk down the aisle and see my husband. I can't wait to see my friends and family waiting there also. I can't wait to have my dad and step-dad walking me down the aisle. I can't wait to dance, eat, talk and have a great time with everyone that was looking forward to this moment as much as I was. I love the person that I am getting married to, I feel so lucky that I know all the good, bad and incredible things that I do about him and about us. I'm glad that we went through some serious s**t in the previous years, because now we know that we can withstand anything. I can't see anything breaking the bond that we share right now. It would have to be pretty damn bad to shake us up, at least me anyway.

I love you my dear and I hope I can wait the 7 months...15 days, then I will be your wife.

~M

Done...Done...Working...Done...

So there have been a lot of things that have been accomplished in the last week or so, I'm sure a nice paycheck helped, but either way it was things that had to get done so that I wouldn't lose my mind!

We went to two bakeries and sampled cakes, we were able to decide on one of those places which was surpising and a great relief to me. I think that I was going to be overly picky about the cake. Let's face it, I know a little about cakes and I also knew what I was looking for in one as well as in a bakery. I was pleasantly surprised when we went to Little Chef's Bakery. They had a wonderful selection of cakes to chose from as well as being able to move flavorings around. The price was reasonable, however, I was willing to pay a half decent price for the cake. I didn't want to have to provide a sheet cake in the back for my guests, I just personally didn't like the idea of doing that. I felt that if I was I might as well go to WalMart and get a couple of sheet cakes and do the damn thing myself.

We put down the deposit on the reception and ceremony site. That was fun...not. It was but at the same time I thought I was going to toss my cookies in the parking lot after it was done. I think that it just hit me all at once what was going on, the money I was about to shell out for a party and the excitement and nerves of thinking about paying for MY wedding. I'm glad Cisco was there with me, I think I would have had a hard time otherwise.

When we finished there we went to go and order the Save The Dates, I felt excited to do it since we had our date locked in. I was scared to death to do it before that, I so didn't want to jinx it! They are cute, I can't wait to put them together and mail them out! Cisco and I weeded out some more of the invitations, so it left me with 4 to choose from and Olivia and her grandma came with me today to help me do that. Let's just say that at the end of Friday afternoon my brain was fried. I think I was a little snappy at Cisco. I didn't mean to but I think that I just felt like every time I got out of the car I was either writing a check or handing over my ATM card to some one, and it wasn't for a $25.00 bill either, more like a couple hundred. I think it was just the initial shock of it all though. I had just better get used to it, because it's going to be happening a lot in the very near future.

However, since I am thinking about it right at this moment I am quite glad that I have been doing everything that I have been. The following items are either done or on their way to getting done...

1. Wedding Dress - Done
2. Veil - Done
3. Jewelry - Done
4. Shoes - Done
5. Garter, Pillow, Guest Book, Flower Girl Basket - Almost Done
6. Save The Dates - Done
7. Invitations - Deposit Done
8. Venue - Deposit Done
9. Photographer picked out
10. Bakery picked out

I really do feel like I have done a lot in the little bit of time that I have been working on things. I am looking forward to not needing to owe anyone any money by the time my wedding day comes along. It's exciting...it's nerve wrecking...I'm happy. I know that it will be like a rollercoaster until the big day, with good days and moments but also with bad ones to. I think that it is just to be expected. I think that I will get through it and with a little help from God so will Cisco :-P

~M

Still So Unreal...

I sit in my living room and text people for their addresses, look online at places that make wedding cakes and drag Cisco to finish registering. All the while, I feel like I am doing it all for another person. I don't know why, but it just doesn't feel like I'm the one getting married, I don't know if it all has not sunk in yet or what by I'm still in awe sometimes when I think about it. When I look at all the work I have already done for the wedding and when I look at all the work that I still have to do to get finished with it all. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited, I can't wait and I am happy that I am ACTUALLY getting married, but I think that since I had waited for it for such a long time, it just seems unreal right now. I can't believe that next week I'm going to start paying for the biggest party of my life, and if you can believe it I am actually worried that people won't come. I think I would lock myself in the bathroom and cry all night if that actually happened, but I doubt that it will. I have such wonderful friends and family and I know they wouldn't do such a thing to me.

Sometimes I'll be driving to work and there will be a song that I love that comes on the radio and I turn it up and sing to it, and I think about how I want it to play at my wedding and then the little movie starts in my head. I think about my Father Daughter dance, I think about people wanting to dance with me because I'm the bride and I think about dancing with my Husband for the first time. I think about the cake, I think about the flowers and I think about all the people wanting to talk to us and congratulate us. I want to cry when I think about it, it just makes me so happy. The anticipation is horrible, but then I think of all the things that I still have to do and 7 months does not seem like a long enough time. I wish that all my bridesmaids lived in town, I guess it would make me feel better with the whole planning process. I'm in dark waters here, I have no clue what to do, where to go and in what order to do it all in. My mom never had a formal wedding and so she doesn't know either. I am relying on Olivia's aunts to help me along the way and they have been great. I email them with my long list of questions and concerns and they write me back with all the answers. I guess I'm just worried that we will run out of time or money...I think the money part will come first. That's why I'm saving asking my dad for anything until we really need it, then I won't feel so bad. :)

I'm excited and I just have to remember that all the worrying and eagerness will be worth it on September 11, 2010.

~M

Slowly But Surely...

Things haven't come to a halt exactly, but I'm just afraid to really move forward with the planning until the deposit is down at our reception/ceremony venue which will be next week. Then I can order my save the dates as well as start talking to the cake and catering people. I am excited and I know that things are going to start moving along at a pretty quick pace from here on out. Which is good, but I'm hoping that they hire another ordertaker soon, or it's going to get really tough really fast. I've been working a lot of overtime, which is good, but I'm just too tired most of the time to do the research that I should be doing when I am at home.

Next week will probably consist of the following things getting done...if I'm up to it...

~ Place deposit
~ Order Save the Dates
~ Talk with flower person
~ Talk with at least 2 cake people
~ See if Nordstrom still has the necklace that I want to buy for the big day
~ Call hair dresser and find out a time line
~ Call makeup artist to set up dry run of makeup sometime soon
~ Take Cisco and finish registering

I think that this list is one that could possibly get done...if I get home and sleep at least 5 hours after work. This is when I wish I was still working for Rick full time. I would be able to do everything that needed to be done (or at least the things that I want to get done by this point)and not have any problems. But the good thing with this job is that with all the overtime I can put more money away right now. I think that I have to come to a decision on the invitations as well because I want to put down the deposit for that as well so I don't run into any problems later.

We will see, I just know that I will have to enlist the help of my dear Husband to be...and I know that he will help me, he knows that it's the best thing to do :)

~M