The Other Side of Things...

I find it best to air out the frustration that I have with my son's father and his family publicly instead of to their faces so here it goes...

My son's father has never really been in his life. The minute that I found out that I was pregnant with him the first question out of his mouth was, "how much is it going to cost?" I was totally baffled at the question that he asked. All I could think of is, "well a lot of money, I hear kids are pretty expensive these days..." When I asked him what he meant he was nice enough to inform me of his desire for me to get an abortion. Yeah, well that wasn't going to happen and I let him know. He wasn't too happy about it and continued to belittle me on the phone. I told him that he should inform his mother and he said no. Well a couple of weeks had gone by and I didn't hear anything from him and so I called him and asked if he had told his mother of what was going on and he said no. Well the next day I decided to call her and tell her of the situation. What was even worse than telling her was that when I was finished she said, "and who are you again?" I spent time with these people, so my only thought was that I was not the only one he was bringing around family. I had decided then and there that any future was impossible and never going to happen with this "boy".

Well needless to say about a year later when the conversation of child support came up he wanted to sign over his rights and have nothing to do with Anthony. I was totally crushed at hearing this. How was I going to explain to my son that his dad wanted no part in his life and make it sound good...well when the question would come up. Anthony's grandmother and I had begun a good relationship and talked a great deal and became close, so when this came up I told Anthony's father that I would be telling his mother of the recent news. I told her of what her son wished to do and also told her what that intailed. No more weekend visits, no more birthdays, nothing. She was devistated and furious at the news that her son wanted to kill the relationship with her first grandson. She would have no part of it, and so he called later that day and changed his mind.

Well now I am at the point where I wish that I would have followed through with it. Nothing has changed, his father is still never around. With the exception of keeping him out too late at the arcade every once and a while. The latest thing that I have asked of his father is to include Anthony on his health insurance plan at his work, so that Anthony can have double coverage incase I loose mine or he looses his. I have provided all the information needed so that he may do this. I called this past Friday to ask him about it, several months have passed, and he told me that he didn't know where his mom put the information and that I would have to provide it again. Well that isn't going to happen, Anthony has been getting credit card offers and I think it is because of the lost social security information I gave.

Anthony's grandmother has been calling to have him come and spend the weekend and I haven't called her back. I am so sick of the games that her son is playing that I have decided until he get's Anthony health insurance like he said he would Anthony is not going to be visiting. This particular grandmother likes to use intimidation when talking to me about Anthony and him visiting. She seems to forget that I hold the possession that she wants and by her bullying there is no way in hell I am going to be nice about anything. She always has an excuse for her son and I am quite tired of her trying to get in the middle of our business.

The only reason I have been letting Anthony go over to his grandparent's house is to visit them, now keep in mind his dad lives there, his so called father hardly ever takes him out to do anything. Oh and the other thing, his "father" has a girlfriend that has three kids...how is this good for my son? He knows what is going on. I feel so bad for him, but the one good thing is that the Cisco is the perfect dad. He is there for him and loves him. That is a good thing. I think that Anthony is begining to see that also. I don't have to say anything bad about is "father" because he is making himself look bad without any help from me. I love the Cisco for the love that he gives Anthony.

~M