So as I have written before, Anthony is my pride and joy. But then there are the times that I wish that he could have been a girl.
He is fasinated with bruises, fake tattoos, and thinking that he is the one person in the world that knows about wedgie's. I thought that it was something that I should worry about because these are things that he is constantly asking for. "Mommy give me a wedgie!!!" While he sticks his butt out at me and laughs. I think that he associates them with joking around. I know that he is safe though...he has this passion for this girl that is in the second grade.
He has is eyes set high, I guess he's like his mom...going for the older girl...right on Anthony. It's kind of cute, whenever I talk about this girl he blushes and laughs. He has a home made poster of the two of them, and makes up stories about her all the time. I think what's even cuter is that he begs Olivia and I not to tell her, but then changes his mind and tells his sister to give her a note on the playground. I discourage some of the activity and even threaten death sometimes when I hear some of the conversations between Olivia and him.
I guess from this moment on I will have my hands overflowing with worry and concern about this girl crazed boy.
~M
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Finally...
IT'S OVER!!!! Here I come summer time fun...Or what's left of it. I have successfully completed my summer session of summer classes at CCSN (Community College of Southern Nevada) and I am so proud of myself. I received a paper from the instructor indicating the grade that I had before I turned in the research paper...B+. I guess that is good. I get upset when I think of that grade but the Cisco thinks that is a wonderful grade. I don't think so though...I've been getting A's for the last two semesters so it is hard to deal with a B I guess.
I'm free until August 28...Then the nightmare begins. Fall semester.
This fall it will certainly have it's highlights and challenges...I have 6 classes that I am registered for. Philosophy 102, Astronomy 101, Math 096, English 232, Communications 102 and Accounting 101. I think that I will have my work cut out for me. I have gotten to the point that I hate when I am not in school. I suppose that is a good thing. I think that I have become so used to being on my toes and busy all the time that when I don't have that chaos I'm lost. Instead I will clean the house like a mad woman and run continuous errands.
I think I will be OK in the fall, I hope that my family is ok with it. School = family misses me, especially kids.
I think of it in this way: Look how well off we will be when I finish school. No living paycheck to paycheck, being able to actually do something on the weekends and taking more vacations. It will definitely be a nice thing to experience.
Well wish me luck and I am sure that for the rest of the Summer I will be around poking in blogs since I happily have nothing else better to do with my weekends now.
~M
I'm free until August 28...Then the nightmare begins. Fall semester.
This fall it will certainly have it's highlights and challenges...I have 6 classes that I am registered for. Philosophy 102, Astronomy 101, Math 096, English 232, Communications 102 and Accounting 101. I think that I will have my work cut out for me. I have gotten to the point that I hate when I am not in school. I suppose that is a good thing. I think that I have become so used to being on my toes and busy all the time that when I don't have that chaos I'm lost. Instead I will clean the house like a mad woman and run continuous errands.
I think I will be OK in the fall, I hope that my family is ok with it. School = family misses me, especially kids.
I think of it in this way: Look how well off we will be when I finish school. No living paycheck to paycheck, being able to actually do something on the weekends and taking more vacations. It will definitely be a nice thing to experience.
Well wish me luck and I am sure that for the rest of the Summer I will be around poking in blogs since I happily have nothing else better to do with my weekends now.
~M
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Stuck...
I pride myself on being a wonderful writer, well maybe not wonderful but very good. I have one more week of my English 102 class and I have officially came to a stall point. I have my research paper due Thursday and my thesis for that paper due tomorrow....well I'm sure you can guess...no thesis. I'm not even close to being able to think of what the thesis should be. AHHHHH!!!
I am stressed about this...there is family stuff happening today and tonight and work followed with school tomorrow. Oh and I'm glad that I just remembered that I have to read 100 pages in my textbook followed by the essay questions also due tomorrow. That's it...I've decided that I don't like this going back to school thingie.
I know that I will be able to pass it off, the question is...how well will I be able to pass it off.
If I did Yoga or Meditated I'm sure that something would come into my little brain. I will do like my little hero Pooh..."Think...Think...Think..." maybe if I had a log in the middle of the woods to sit on and tap my head it would help.
I think I will speak of something else and maybe stop thinking about the school thing for a little bit....
Something that I have been wondering about for a while now...when it comes to celeberties...
Whenever you read an article in "People" magazine celeberties always pride themselves on being like regular people. They like to go out and get coffee on Sunday mornings and go to amusement parks. I'm sure they even like to sit at home on a Saturday night and watch movies while snuggling with their kids or the person that they may love at that moment in time.
If it is a "movie star" what movies would they watch? One with a friend in it? Old Classics? Westerns? Their own? It is something that I have always wondered. How does a celeberty spend their day? Do they get time alone where they don't have their assistants around to get them water? How much are they really like "normal" people?
I don't think they are much alike the rest of us...they don't worry about how they are going to make their car payment for that month. They also don't worry about when they are going to find the time to clean the house. I know that the money that they have has been well earned and all, but why brag that you are just "like everyone else" when they are not.
Just some of the things that I have always been curious about and I thought that I would write them down just in case a celeberty read my blog one day...yeah like that would ever happen.
~M
I am stressed about this...there is family stuff happening today and tonight and work followed with school tomorrow. Oh and I'm glad that I just remembered that I have to read 100 pages in my textbook followed by the essay questions also due tomorrow. That's it...I've decided that I don't like this going back to school thingie.
I know that I will be able to pass it off, the question is...how well will I be able to pass it off.
If I did Yoga or Meditated I'm sure that something would come into my little brain. I will do like my little hero Pooh..."Think...Think...Think..." maybe if I had a log in the middle of the woods to sit on and tap my head it would help.
I think I will speak of something else and maybe stop thinking about the school thing for a little bit....
Something that I have been wondering about for a while now...when it comes to celeberties...
Whenever you read an article in "People" magazine celeberties always pride themselves on being like regular people. They like to go out and get coffee on Sunday mornings and go to amusement parks. I'm sure they even like to sit at home on a Saturday night and watch movies while snuggling with their kids or the person that they may love at that moment in time.
If it is a "movie star" what movies would they watch? One with a friend in it? Old Classics? Westerns? Their own? It is something that I have always wondered. How does a celeberty spend their day? Do they get time alone where they don't have their assistants around to get them water? How much are they really like "normal" people?
I don't think they are much alike the rest of us...they don't worry about how they are going to make their car payment for that month. They also don't worry about when they are going to find the time to clean the house. I know that the money that they have has been well earned and all, but why brag that you are just "like everyone else" when they are not.
Just some of the things that I have always been curious about and I thought that I would write them down just in case a celeberty read my blog one day...yeah like that would ever happen.
~M
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Undecided...
So it has been crazy around for the last couple of months with one class of the summer session ending and being in the middle of another one is starting to take my breath away. I am very proud at the fact that I have actually stuck through with the whole thing and am doing quite well.
I think another "scare" if that is what you can call it is the curiosity of why I was "late" and the thoughts that were surrounding it all. I was quite worried about the whole thing and disapointed when it came around to "that time" and it hadn't arrived yet.
The last thing that I wanted to deal with was another person around me and having to set aside things that were important to me.
As time went by and I informed the Cisco of the situation I became indifferent over the whole thing. If it was then what would my next step be and if it wasn't then that would be ok too. I tried not to think about it, I decided I would just wait until the next month to find out if anything became of it.
Then the Cisco and I went out to lunch one afternoon last week and he told me that if I was to hatch someone then he would be there and we would make it work. It surprised and pleased me at the same time that he actually had a smile on his face when he was telling me this. I didn't think that I should be expecting something like that at all. Not that reaction from the man that swore up and down that he would never have another kid. So it was almost nice to see that. He put me at ease and almost made me cry. He had told me that if it was that I deserved it and I should be allowed to have a little of the fairy tale that is in my head since I don't get to have the marrage part of it. That made me so happy and actually touched me.
That was where the indifference ended and the flirtation of the thought began. I was thinking how nice it would be to have a child with someone who loved me. I never got to experience that with Anthony. I was happy when I was pregnant, I think because I didn't have a bunch of baby daddy drama going on. But I always told myself that with the next one I would do it right. Even if I wasn't married the least that I could do was follow though with someone that loved me as much as I loved them. I thought of how nice it would be to go to the doctor's appointments together and all the other stuff that is involved.
Then a couple days later the demon came. I was so upset. I almost began to cry. I was partly mad that it came and also upset at the fact that I allowed myself to entertain the thoughts. I had told myself early on when I first was late that it was unlikely that I was a prego, but then the conversation and the time that wore on made me think different.
I am beginning to get over the disapointment that I have, but I'm still a little hurt at the fact that my thoughts and dreams got the best of me. I know that I should take it for what it is, but I think that it is ok to be a little disapointed as long as I don't let it get the best of me. I give myself another day and then I will be back to my old self.
~M
I think another "scare" if that is what you can call it is the curiosity of why I was "late" and the thoughts that were surrounding it all. I was quite worried about the whole thing and disapointed when it came around to "that time" and it hadn't arrived yet.
The last thing that I wanted to deal with was another person around me and having to set aside things that were important to me.
As time went by and I informed the Cisco of the situation I became indifferent over the whole thing. If it was then what would my next step be and if it wasn't then that would be ok too. I tried not to think about it, I decided I would just wait until the next month to find out if anything became of it.
Then the Cisco and I went out to lunch one afternoon last week and he told me that if I was to hatch someone then he would be there and we would make it work. It surprised and pleased me at the same time that he actually had a smile on his face when he was telling me this. I didn't think that I should be expecting something like that at all. Not that reaction from the man that swore up and down that he would never have another kid. So it was almost nice to see that. He put me at ease and almost made me cry. He had told me that if it was that I deserved it and I should be allowed to have a little of the fairy tale that is in my head since I don't get to have the marrage part of it. That made me so happy and actually touched me.
That was where the indifference ended and the flirtation of the thought began. I was thinking how nice it would be to have a child with someone who loved me. I never got to experience that with Anthony. I was happy when I was pregnant, I think because I didn't have a bunch of baby daddy drama going on. But I always told myself that with the next one I would do it right. Even if I wasn't married the least that I could do was follow though with someone that loved me as much as I loved them. I thought of how nice it would be to go to the doctor's appointments together and all the other stuff that is involved.
Then a couple days later the demon came. I was so upset. I almost began to cry. I was partly mad that it came and also upset at the fact that I allowed myself to entertain the thoughts. I had told myself early on when I first was late that it was unlikely that I was a prego, but then the conversation and the time that wore on made me think different.
I am beginning to get over the disapointment that I have, but I'm still a little hurt at the fact that my thoughts and dreams got the best of me. I know that I should take it for what it is, but I think that it is ok to be a little disapointed as long as I don't let it get the best of me. I give myself another day and then I will be back to my old self.
~M
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Same Old S*@*...
I have offically determined that I am old....
A conversation with a friend that I have known for what we calculated as 20 years (yikes!) was nice enough to point that out to me.
For a group of individuals, friends from high school and such, who swore up and down that they would never get old and still feel as if they are not....are getting older.
You can tell by the conversation that takes place, relationships, kids, just life in general. All of the grown up stuff that you never thought that you would talk about or even worry about.
Who ever thought that I would worry about what kind of bread is the best or compare prices on laundry detergent. Being able to give advice on how to remove stains is something that I thought would never come out of my mouth.
A typical day now is nothing to what it used to be....
1) 7:00am wake up.
2) 7:10am attempt to wake up children.
3) 7:15am attempt to wake up children again.
4) 7:20am one child wakes up and gets ready for school.
5) 7:25am still attempting to remove one child from bed...Anthony.
6) 7:30am threaten death to remove child from bed.
7) 8:30am fight with children to eat breakfast and gather their crap for school.
8) 8:58am yell at kids about being late for school and swearing up and down that they will
be going to bed much earlier so that we are not late anymore.
9) 9:00am drive to work.
10) 3:30pm pick kids up from school and deal with fighting in car...threaten lives again.
11) 4:00pm get back to work and make snacks.
12) 4:10pm fight with Anthony about homework.
13) 5:30pm go to school.
14) 8:30pm get out of school and wish I didn't have to go home.
15) 9:00pm put kids to bed.
16) 9:15pm homework.
17) 12am go to bed and dread waking up in the morning...
I remember when the thing that I worried about before Anthony was what I was going to wear the next day and what time I had to attempt to get to work. It's funny how things change along with priorities. I never thought that I would actually WANT to put as much effort into my realationship. WANTING to make it work and actually loving someone as much as I do.
Everyone who knows me knows the whole Kumar / Harman drama and how at the time the world was going to end and never be the same again. It's funny how things work out when you get older and those kind of things matter but not as much. It seems that when relationships end it's not as bad, especially if you have had past experience with them. You know that there are bigger fish in the sea and everything works out for the best. I think having Anthony has also made me look at a bigger picture and realize that if I don't have anyone else atleast I have him...my little shmegal.
~M
A conversation with a friend that I have known for what we calculated as 20 years (yikes!) was nice enough to point that out to me.
For a group of individuals, friends from high school and such, who swore up and down that they would never get old and still feel as if they are not....are getting older.
You can tell by the conversation that takes place, relationships, kids, just life in general. All of the grown up stuff that you never thought that you would talk about or even worry about.
Who ever thought that I would worry about what kind of bread is the best or compare prices on laundry detergent. Being able to give advice on how to remove stains is something that I thought would never come out of my mouth.
A typical day now is nothing to what it used to be....
1) 7:00am wake up.
2) 7:10am attempt to wake up children.
3) 7:15am attempt to wake up children again.
4) 7:20am one child wakes up and gets ready for school.
5) 7:25am still attempting to remove one child from bed...Anthony.
6) 7:30am threaten death to remove child from bed.
7) 8:30am fight with children to eat breakfast and gather their crap for school.
8) 8:58am yell at kids about being late for school and swearing up and down that they will
be going to bed much earlier so that we are not late anymore.
9) 9:00am drive to work.
10) 3:30pm pick kids up from school and deal with fighting in car...threaten lives again.
11) 4:00pm get back to work and make snacks.
12) 4:10pm fight with Anthony about homework.
13) 5:30pm go to school.
14) 8:30pm get out of school and wish I didn't have to go home.
15) 9:00pm put kids to bed.
16) 9:15pm homework.
17) 12am go to bed and dread waking up in the morning...
I remember when the thing that I worried about before Anthony was what I was going to wear the next day and what time I had to attempt to get to work. It's funny how things change along with priorities. I never thought that I would actually WANT to put as much effort into my realationship. WANTING to make it work and actually loving someone as much as I do.
Everyone who knows me knows the whole Kumar / Harman drama and how at the time the world was going to end and never be the same again. It's funny how things work out when you get older and those kind of things matter but not as much. It seems that when relationships end it's not as bad, especially if you have had past experience with them. You know that there are bigger fish in the sea and everything works out for the best. I think having Anthony has also made me look at a bigger picture and realize that if I don't have anyone else atleast I have him...my little shmegal.
~M
Monday, July 03, 2006
UHHHHH.....
I am so tired today and I don't feel too hot either.
I think I drank too much lastnight and didn't drink enough water later. I don't wanna be at work. I would much rather have stayed in bed for a couple more hours. I feel horrible for the mood that I was in this morning. It just seemed like things weren't working out for me today at least so far today. I think I just needed a little bit of alone time to calm down and I didn't have it and it didn't work out the way I thought it would.
I think the few tipping point was not being able to find some books for school this morning. I was the one that put them away and when I couldn't find them I threw a fit. I looked a long time before I said anything. I was trying to stay calm about it all and it was going good until I just couldn't find them. I didn't accuse anyone of moving them I just wanted to know if they had been seen. I was more frustrated with myself. I finally found them and was just happy to be out of the house for the day.
I now want to just go home and lay down. I feel horrible all the way around. I have school tonight though so there is to be no real rest for me. I am sure that I am going to have homework since it is an English Class.
Oh well I think that I won't get any real rest until tonight around 9.
M
I think I drank too much lastnight and didn't drink enough water later. I don't wanna be at work. I would much rather have stayed in bed for a couple more hours. I feel horrible for the mood that I was in this morning. It just seemed like things weren't working out for me today at least so far today. I think I just needed a little bit of alone time to calm down and I didn't have it and it didn't work out the way I thought it would.
I think the few tipping point was not being able to find some books for school this morning. I was the one that put them away and when I couldn't find them I threw a fit. I looked a long time before I said anything. I was trying to stay calm about it all and it was going good until I just couldn't find them. I didn't accuse anyone of moving them I just wanted to know if they had been seen. I was more frustrated with myself. I finally found them and was just happy to be out of the house for the day.
I now want to just go home and lay down. I feel horrible all the way around. I have school tonight though so there is to be no real rest for me. I am sure that I am going to have homework since it is an English Class.
Oh well I think that I won't get any real rest until tonight around 9.
M
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