A Somewhat Personal Journey...

This morning I woke up and decided that it would be nice to go for a bike ride. The destination was my mothers house. Those of you who read this and live in Las Vegas can appreciate the distance to my mothers home. We live up around the Summerlin Area and my mother lives around the Charleston Heights area (Jones and Charleston).

I didn't think much of the ride to their house. It would be easy, all down hill. When I was taking my bike out of the garage and getting ready to leave Cisco tried to talk me into having my Step-dad drive me back because it was going to be long and hard getting back to our house. I was determined to come back on my own and told him that I could do it and I didn't need any one's help on returning. We kissed each other goodbye and he told me to be careful.

Getting to Charleston and Hualipai didn't seem too hard. I took back the movies that we rented last night and then went from there. I had decided that I was going to ride in the street because the sidewalks in the Summerlin area wind every which way and it would be easy to fall off since I was going down hill and traveling at a pretty constant speed the whole time. It was a nice crisp morning here in the Valley for a March and I was sure that I should have worn a heavier jacket or even a long sleeve shirt under the jacket. The sprinklers from the small patches of grass were on and would spray me with a light mist as I biked down the road. I didn't notice the risk that I had put myself into until I was halfway to my mothers house. I didn't have a helmet on. I felt quite ashamed of this especially since I preach at my kids all of the time that they need to wear a helmet so that they are safe. But, now I have put my own safety at risk because I didn't take my time upon leaving the house. I could have easily thrown on Cisco's helmet but didn't think of it at the time. So a slight panic rose in my chest as I was riding and the thoughts of what I might be able to utter out to the paramedics if they were called out to get me, due to a car not looking and hitting me, all I could think of is, "Son, Daughter" and my step-dad's phone number. I stopped thinking those thoughts quite quickly thought because I didn't want it to actually happen.

You would think that people have never seen someone riding their bike before or maybe it was the change in the neighborhood. It is scary to see how quickly it changes just street by street. The further East that you go down Charleston the more it changes. I think that the people in Summerlin thrive off of the nicely manicured patches of grass that wind through the sidewalks. The trees that provide shade for a nice morning walk or bike ride on any day of the week. The thought that it is safe to do all of these things without worrying. No one honks their horn at you when you are taking a walk on the sidewalk in the middle of the day. Jogging or Running to get that rush of adrenaline and the feeling of accomplishment. The minute you step one foot past Durango and Charleston that all changes. I'm not saying this to talk bad about anyone or to point fingers at any one person. I think that it may just be the nature of the beast in this town. Maybe it's not even this town. I was glad to have my iPod on to eliminate that kind of noise, because it would have been more distracting to me at that present moment in time.

I had finally reached my mothers house and clocked myself taking 45 minutes to do it, thanks to the steady down hill motion that I was undertaking. I sat down, let the puppy in and decided to make myself a sandwich since I hadn't eaten breakfast and was starving. I have been on the South Beach diet for about three weeks now and have lost about 11 pounds which I am quite proud of. So, anyone that knows something about this diet also knows that carbs of any kind are strictly limited if not prohibited depending on what phase you are in. I have currently graduated to phase two but still stay away from sugars and carbs as best I can. But since I knew I was going to be riding back home I would make myself this sandwich that contained bread. Which I would be thankful for later.

I sat down ate my sandwich and watched a Biography on Ron Howard. My step-dad came home and we talked for a little while and then when I decided that I had procrastinated enough I decided that I would get on my bike and head home. The thought of him driving me home gnawed at me for a little while and I decided that I didn't have it too hard getting there the real challenge would be getting home...all the way home, alone.

So I started on my long journey home. I thought at the most it should take me about 2 hours if not 2 1/2 hours to get home. I would be going up hill the whole time so I knew that it would be a long and hot ride since I would be in the sun the whole time. By the time I hit Rainbow I was about to throw in the towel. I looked up at how far I had to go and nearly caved in on myself, like I have so many times before and claim defeat. I wasn't interested in pushing myself to see if I could actually make it, just interested in finding the nearest pay phone so that I could call for a ride. I decided that I would make and deal with myself instead. I would ride stop light to stop light and rest a small time before I would start up again. That is how I rode...stop light to stop light and I would get off my bike and stand there for a little while and then get back on when I had the green light and keep pushing on.

Listening to the Beatles and Gwen I pushed on. I stopped every once and a while when I just couldn't bear it any longer. The horns stopped beeping and the guys stopped making hand motions the closer to home I came. Before I knew it I was at Durango and Charleston. If I had a chain for my bike I probably would have stopped at Target to buy more water since I had ran out at Cimmeron, but I didn't so I kept going. I became so delighted when the ground was even and flat and became elated when I would have small bits of hill to go down, even if it was just off of the sidewalk to cross the street or an opening to a parking lot.

When I finally hit Rampart and Charleston I was so happy with myself. Riding near the Boca Park area was hard. Smelling the food that was cooking at the Claim Jumper or the hamburgers being fried over at the Wendy's drove my stomach and my mind crazy. I had to get out of there before I drove myself out of my mind. But crossing the street proved no more a great feat because P.F. Changs was waiting.

As I rode past all of the delightful smells I found myself winding though the manicured lawns along the sidewalks, going under the hundreds of pine trees that line the streets and going under the cherry trees who's blossoms have started to bloom and with the wind kissing at the branches the blossoms would fly off and drift upon my head and their smell would fill my lungs and I began to feel so thankful that I was able to do such a thing on a beautiful day. The ability that so many of us takes for granted everyday. Walking, breathing, smelling, touching, everything that you take for granted until it is taken away. I was not going to let this moment pass me by. I said thank you for all that I was given even if my legs were burning from continuously going uphill for several miles and the slight sunburn that I could feel on my head. I said thank you for being able to realize what I had also...some of us go through life and just barely live our lives. Just barely have a relationship with someone because the thought of trying harder or even trying is too much to bear. I then realize that I am lucky to have these thoughts going through my head while I'm doing something so simple as riding my bike home.

While I look at the beams of sunlight dancing with the trees and then casting their shadow upon the sidewalk I become aware that I have approached the entrance to Queensridge and I am nearly home. While I am waiting for the light to turn green I see all of the "privileged" driving their Bentley's and BMW's into the entry way. I wonder at these people that are looking at me and wondering what they are thinking. Some look at me and then talk to one another. Some just stare until the light turns green for them and then there are the ones that I like that pay no mind to you at all and keep their eyes on whatever they are thinking about in their own little personal space.

I arrive at Hualipai and I am becoming more over joyed at the fact that the thoughts of taking the bus or calling for my ride were not followed through with. It was going to be better to say "I did it all by myself".

When I started traveling on Hualipai I was so happy that it was all going to be down hill from here, especially since I had worked so hard to get to where I was at. I was finally at the Homestretch...literally, the street I passed near a high school is called Homestretch and it fit just perfectly with the thoughts that were traveling though my mind at that moment. Looking down at my watch while cruising along on the sidewalk I saw it only took me an hour and a half to get home. When I returned home I tried not to cry because I was so proud of myself, that I was actually able to do it without giving in. With finishing something that I had started and not giving up or making excuses. Maybe I couldn't cry because I had sweat all of the tears away. I came home and made phone calls and was hoping that people would be as excited as I was but that didn't work out the way I planned.

The thought of that is disappointing but it's OK because I did this for myself, to prove that I could do it and I did...that's all that matters in my book.

~M