Is It A Series Of Unfortunate Events...

I'm bored...

I'm bored...

I'm BORED...

Not with my life in general but with my realationship in general. It seems to be the same all the time, the conversation has become repetition and contains the same information all of the time. How is it that I should be able to change that up?

The same thing occuring in the relationship everyday is a good thing, I'm all for stability, but changing things up every once and a while isn't bad either.

Going to bed with naked used to bring feelings of desire and want. It was guaranteed to bring warm cuddling, kissing and a very strong prospect to Nookie...not now, sometimes but more times than not, it doesn't happen.

I used to be excited when the kids went to spend the night at grandma's house. It was always guaranteed that there would be an adventure that night, now it is spent trying to figure out what to do and usually always entails a male falling asleep on the couch at about 9:30.

As Tom Cruise would put it, "He's lost that loving feeling". There is no romance, there is no surprise. Now, it's not something that I am hoping for everyday, but it's been made so clear that these are things that I need in my life to be able to sustain. However, the desire from him to do things that would bring spark and romance is not anywhere to be found.

There used to be mornings of cuddling and if that wasn't there atleast when he woke up at the crack of dawn he would stay in bed with me, turn on the T.V. and when I woke up I could roll over and hold him. Now he goes into the study area turns on the T.V. and what wakes me up everymorning is the rapid typing on the keyboard. He says that he doesn't want to wake me up, but I see it another way. Atleast when he would stay in bed there was always playing that would sometimes lead to a nookie factor or atleast a playful smile would emerge.

Who knows, I don't. I'm glad that I am in a stable relationship, but this relationship doesn't warrent being like an old married couple. Especially since he refuses to marry me. I know that we all have our schedules and everything going on but it's getting boring seeing him fall asleep right after he get's home from work. There used to be so much talking and interesting conversation going on. It seems as though his thought and brainwaves have gone out the window sometimes. I know that I may be to blame for some of this. I could help, but I feel that I bring most of it around this relationship. Maybe that is what needs to happen if I desire for things to be different, but it's hard to be the only one doing things.

I found out that there have been other men that do things every once and a while, mark a spot on the calendar and when that date comes up do something or bring something home that is romantic.

It's sad when I wake up at 6:30 in the morning with nothing but thoughts of how to title this blog. But such is life.

~M