First Week

It has been a while since I last posted but the computer of choice is not compatible with this site for some reason. I started the spring semester this past Monday and am happy that I did so in spite of all of the homework that I have encountered. I know that there is going to only be more and more, but in a way I look forward to it. It will keep me busy and out of trouble.... I hope.

I hear so many horror stories from friends and aquaintences about the professors that they had and to STAY AWAY from them and their hateful practices. I can knock on wood that so far in my college career I have not come across any such caracters. I have enjoyed my teachers so far. Even if I had one that was out for blood I think that I would merge with the shadows and keep out of the way of hateful comments and bad grades.

I wonder (but hope not) if I will ever be in the presence of such an individual. I hope that I won't but I think that it is inevitable. I will be in school for atleast another two or three years and I'm sure the scenerio will appear. For those that have encountered such a thing over and over again with rescue or resolve my appologies. I think that there are just some people (professors and teachers) that expect so much out of their students that it makes it hard for the student to measure up. Not that they don't want to but becuase it is impossible. These teachers / professors seem to think that everyone (students) should be able to achieve the same grades and habits as they once did. That is so far from the way things are.

Eventhough I have only completed the first week I have high hopes and great expectations for myself and my classes. I hope that I am not let down. M

Excited

I am so excited about starting up with school again. I haven't gone for one semester and it seems like an eternity. I think in a way it is my escape from reality for a while. Those couple of hours spent alone with my thoughts is always a good thing.
I enjoy being around the other students. I think I like the College that I go to because it is so diverse. It isn't just the stuck up "I know everyone here" crowd.
I haven't met many people like that at my school and I am happy for that I hope that it stays that way.
I did very well the last semester that I went to school. I hope that it is going to be the same way.
I told my boyfriend to cuddle me and kiss me now because when school starts he isn't going to have the chance. I am taking 4 classes and I think that I will be so busy with that, that he will be neglected for a small amount of time.
I think that it will be good for me. I am happy that I look forward to going to school. I would have quit in a heartbeat if I dreaded it.
Wish me luck! M

I Think I Have Come A Long Way

I am now 26 years old. I definately have come a long way within the past few years. I think the biggest reason is my son. I think that makes you grow up a lot and fast. I cannot say that for everyone. I have friends that are my age or older who have kids and they are still so worried about going out and partying all weekend long.

I think that that left me right after I had my son. I knew what I was getting myself into so I let that part of my youth disapear. I still would go out every now and then, but not too much. I had fun with my son. I tried to do things that included him.

I think the relationship that I am in now made me grow up a great deal also. He is older than me and he has a daughter and I guess to me it is like having 2 kids. We go out and have our fun, but it is different than going out to a club and hanging out. Some of the most fun that we have is when we stay in when the kids are away for the weekend. I love getting dinner, having a drink and watching a movie or a show that I just love. And to watch it with him just makes it better because I have my best friend to laugh and have fun with.

My eyes have opened up to a few things this past year also. My soul has grown and I can "see the light at the end of the tunnel". I think that is good, it is sad to think about how old I am now only because I don't see myself this age. I never thought that I would be this age. I don't know why. I am happy, atleast I am not confused anymore.

Every decision used to be so easy. Now I have to think how it is going to effect myself, my little "family", or others around me that I care about. Like when I had to decide whether to quit my job at a big hotel and go to a small business or to stay. Those decisions used to be so easy. If I wanted to quit a job I would just leave. Now I have to think about how much money I am going to make, and what kind of health insurance I am going to be getting. What a headache sometimes.

It is all worth it though. I don't think I would ever change the decisions I have made. I am proud of the life that I lead and I also lead it with joy. I think that is something that not everyone can say. I am proud to be able to tell people that.

The Last Days

I am entering the last days of work. I have decided to quit, about two and a half weeks ago. I cannot believe the time has come to leave. I have been at the same place for 6 years. It feels funny to be telling people, "Tomorrow is my last day so give me a hug, because I don't know if I will see you." I have not felt the need to cry about it as of yet. Maybe tomorrow, the last day, the tears will flow.

It is the longest job I have ever had. And when you have a job for that long at the same place you build so many relationships with your staff. I have been working with the same group of people for 6 years so you know eachother well.

You know eachothers kids' names, dogs, husbands, girlfriends and boyfriends. You hear about all the drama on the different shifts and eventually take sides and then change sides. It is like living one giant soap opera.

I am going from a job with hundreds of different people that I talk to everyday to a job where is is only going to be me in an office alone everyday. I think right now that I am going to love it, but I think I will miss it a great deal.

There are those certain people that have left a mark on me and I think I will miss them the most. My bosses for instance have always been good to me and I will miss joking around and listening to their stories the most. Sharing things in my life with them and theirs with me. Talking with them was always like therapy with me. If I ever had doubts about anything, worries or joys I knew I could talk to them about it.

I have a few of my "girlfriends" that I will miss also. I think when I am sitting at my new desk they will pop into my head. Whenever something happens that I think is funny or when I have come up with a new smart ass remark, I will miss running to tell them about it. I will miss their reactions to things that I tell them, or even to cry together when we find out something good or bad. The sounds of their voices will never leave me and if I ever really and truly miss them, I will just give them a call and give them a hard time. But nothing will ever beat seeing them everyday.

As my boyfriend says it is the end of an era. I have a lot of bad memories, but I have more great memories that will last forever. I have a lot of friends that I want and plan to keep.

I'm on my own now and I have only myself to cheer up when I am feeling down in the dumps but a friendly voice is never too far away.

I love you guys, you know who you are!!!!!!!!!!! M