Would You Rather...

As I was driving to work this morning and listening to the radio I heard a conversation about 5 things to do on a first date (for ladies). As I was listening to this I was remembering what it was like to go on first dates, when I did go on first dates...which seems like forever ago.

I remember how excited I would get when I would give my phone number out or he would get mine, all the anticipation of wondering if he would call and when. Back in the days when cell phones weren't as affordable as they are now, I would forward my calls to make sure I wouldn't miss his. There were the usual first date jitters as well as the awkward silences and the inevitable good night kiss or hug, depending on how good the date went and if you thought there might be a second.

As is the rituals of courting you try to keep on your best behavior and you dress to the nines, shave everyday because you never know, and try to be yourself (at least to a point).

As time goes by and you decide that you will stick this one through and see how far it goes you let little things slip as you begin to know each other better and become more comfortable around each other. You love that person for themselves and not all the other crap that you were so worried about in the beginning.

So what would you rather have, years of happiness with that one person or giving it all up just to have those first couple weeks of excitement. I know there are people out there that would pick the last one.

I know that I will never really have that same feeling as I did on my first date with Cisco, but the anticipation for something more is always there. A note on the vanity mirror in the morning, flowers brought to me in bed, rare occasions when we are able to go out without the kids (including trips), and just being able to talk for hours without interruption if we chose to. I think that I miss that feeling of courting a little bit sometimes, just the excitement from anticipation and the butterflies that follow, but when I think about what I have now it's so much better. I get to come home to two kids who love me unconditionally, shaved legs or not, a man that knows my flaws as well as his own and loves me regardless.

I'm just so happy for taking that first step with our little first date, I didn't think he would call the number on the paper, but I'm glad you did baby.

I love you guys more than life itself.

~M