It's Official...I'm Loosing My Mind

School, work, kids, house chores, boyfriend = little help.

This is how I have been feeling for the last couple of weeks. I just got finished taking a bath for about 1 1/2 hours, atleast that is what it felt like. I need some much needed alone time. I love my kids and I love my boyfriend but I have just felt so overwhelmed these past weeks. I don't know why. Nothing big has changed, it just seems like it.

I have been taking the kids to school more and more and between me getting ready and trying to get them ready without them fighting I feel like I am going to loose my mind sometimes.
I usually listen to the radio loud on the way to work but lately I have been having it off. I think because this is the only time that I have for it to be completely quiet.

I get to work and I am alone all day long but then I have to deal with me talking to me! The phone and the fax don't help either. Halfway through my day with work I have to go and pick up the kids from school, bring them back to work with me and try and finish what I have going on there and help with homework. I swear I should be in a circus with the way that I am able to juggle. Then when the grandparents come home I get to go to school. If I'm lucky it is sometimes a 1 hour class and not one of my 3 hour classes.

When I'm done with that, depending on what day it is, I get to go pick up the kids, feed them, finish homework with them, get them in the shower, put them to bed, then go downstairs and do my homework. Let's not forget cleaning up the house and doing the laundry in between.

I swear I feel like these kids don't even like me anymore! I am the one that has to give out the punishments and tell them what to do so when my boyfriend gets home from work that night, in my opinion, he gets the easy part of it. Everyone is happy to see him and want to hang out with him and look at me like my head has spun around 360 degrees. He gets to help put them to bed and then chill out downstairs and have a beer, if there are any around. I'm not saying that he is lazy, he just has a convenient work schedule.

It drives me nuts when he has the kids for one day on his day off and looks at me all pissed off and complains about them fighting. Or how one of them won't do this or did do that. I don't think he completely realizes what I have to do 6 days a week.

I hope that some alone time in California will help ease the tension that I have been having and bring me back to my old self. I hate feeling this way.... M