My Daddy...

The way I miss him tonight would make me think that he is still living in Seattle, but he's not. He is here in town, but I don't see him much anymore.

While poking around my Ipod to listen to something relaxing and away from the norm I came across a CD that he introduced to me years ago when I was in elementary school. I remember that he had the record, and we would listen to it while sitting at the kitchen table talking about whatever happened to come across our thoughts. There were so many things in my childhood that were sad and sometimes unfortunate when it came with me living with my dad, but that is for another day.

When I hear this music, which is poetry set to classical music, it just reminds me of him and all the time we would spend, usually beyond any normal kids bedtime just talking and hanging out. He would play old Buddy Holly records that he had and we would just have fun, sometimes we would be doing laundry together, cooking dinner or cleaning up the house. He worked hours where I didn't see him with the exception of his days off and when those days came I wanted to just soak them in. It always seemed like a cruel twist of fate that I would have to go to school when I could be hanging out by the pool with him for the day. I love my dad so much, no matter what other circumstances there were.

I wish he would take me up on my offer and visit more often, but I don't hold grudges, not to him. I understand how he is and I accept it. The desire to be able to listen to music that reminds me of him and to just enjoy it completely is hard becuase all I can do is think back on those days we had when I was a kid. I wish I could have those days back. I wish that I could go back and just take more of it in sometimes.

My mom could never understand why to this day I love going to the grocery store so much, when she just can't stand it. When I explain to her that that was one of the activities that my dad and I would do on his days off then she understood, but it's just little things like that.

I really hope that when I am old and gray Anthony and Olivia can have little things that may just be as simple as a song or a book to remind them of happy times that they had with Cisco and I.

I love you Dad, always and forever.

~M